If Reality Could Drown
by Kiki Ling
Summary: In some ways they were so similar, so the same. But then again they couldn't have been more different. Sometimes, he just wished reality would drown itself. Ichigo x Toshiro.
1. Home Is That Way Yonder

A new story! Inspired by my recent obsession with Ichigo x Toshiro, can't get enough! Anyway, this story is set after the movie Bleach 2: Diamond Dust Rebellion. You don't have to watch the movie to read this story, though there will be a couple of spoilers in here. Just know that Kusaka is an old dead friend of Toshiro's who came back from the dead to take over the Seireitei with the help of a Royal powerful thingy known as the Ouin.

If you haven't seen the movie then I say that you should, it's one hell of a good movie! Especially if you love Toshiro like me, and it's a good movie to watch if you love Ichigo too! But, I digress.

Category: Bleach.

Rating: T

Pairings: Ichigo x Toshiro.

Genre: Drama/Romance.

Summary: In some ways they were so similar, so the same. But then again they couldn't have been more different. Sometimes, he just wished reality would drown itself.

WARNINGS: Foul language. Yaoi. Set after Diamond Dust Rebellion.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Nor any of its characters.

No more to say except - enjoy!

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**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter One: Home Is That Way Yonder**

Toshiro gently drew his fingers over his bared stomach, across the flesh wound that had caused him so much pain; Kusaka had driven the blade straight in to him, and even now the wound still wept badly. To make matters worse he'd caught some infection and it had slowed down all healing processes, despite Captain Unohana's best efforts. His brow furrowed and he walked to the edge of the bed to claim his clothes; the past may have been laid to rest but it still tugged at him, taking his mind in its hands and sweeping everything away. Three days he'd been stuck in the Squad Four Barracks and Kusaka was all he'd been thinking about, it had begun to make his head ache.

"Hey, Toshiro"

Toshiro whipped round "Ichigo Kurosaki, have you never heard the concept of privacy!" he snapped.

"What? It's not like I'm seeing something new" Ichigo wafted a hand at Toshiro's half bared form "but don't worry, if I see something I've never seen before, I'll giggle at it"

Toshiro's eyes narrowed and he turned from the substitute slipping in to his kimono and haori, he winced as the stretching of his arms caused a flare of pain through his abdomen; turning back to the bed he took up his green sash and slipped it over his shoulder before fastening the buckle.

"Are you sure you're alright to leave?" asked Ichigo "because I've just been talking with Captain Unohana and she's not happy about you leaving so soon"

"I'm perfectly well" Toshiro replied shortly "I don't need you keeping tabs on me"

"Hey, I'm just trying to look out for you, Toshiro"

"I don't need your concern" Toshiro said again "and call me Captain Hitsugaya"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and watched the young Captain; Toshiro gathered the papers he'd been working on only moments before the redhead had entered the room, mainly they were forms that he'd been filling in - something Rangiku should have been doing - and, having found himself lounging on a bed all day, he'd set about completing them. Now he slipped them in to the folds of his haori before turning to the door, which he found blocked by Ichigo; his brow furrowed for a fleeting second before his invisible mask adorned itself on to his features and he asked with a sigh "was there something you wanted, Kurosaki?"

"Uh, actually I came to say goodbye" Ichigo answered.

"You're returning to the World Of The Living"

"Yeah, seeing as the Soul Society seems to be back to its normal self I can go home"

"You make it sound like we can't manage without you" Toshiro commented his eyes narrowing slightly.

Ichigo gave a goofy grin "well, it's starting to seem that way. Face it, Toshiro, if it wasn't for me you'd probably be dead"

"I don't see it quite like that"

"Oh come on, you were half dead when I found you"

"I wasn't"

"You'd lost control of your powers, it was snowing"

"Sometimes the world does snow without my help"

"It's July, Toshiro, it doesn't snow in July" Ichigo raised his eyebrows at the white haired Captain who sighed and relented somewhat.

"You helped me, I thanked you already" Toshiro muttered "now, if you would excuse me, I have work to catch up on" he walked passed the redhead twisting his body so he could slip through the doorway without touching Ichigo "goodbye"

Ichigo watched the Captain walk away down the corridor with a sigh "still don't get that guy" he shook his head and pulled at the red strap that was cutting in to his skin, he turned from the room and followed the same walkway Toshiro had seconds before, it led to the main entrance of the Squad Four Barracks and as Ichigo neared the main door a couple of soul reapers dashed passed him on some errand or other.

Already Toshiro Hitsugaya was out of sight, but Ichigo had found himself used to that now; one moment Toshiro would be there, and then in the blink of an eye he would be gone leaving behind only a few traces of spiritual pressure. He was like that, Ichigo had come to learn, and though the pair of them had settled on some form of friendship it didn't mean Toshiro let anyone closer than an arm's length. Seemingly it was only Momo, and to a lesser extent Rangiku, who he would let read him in any way.

Even Momo seemed to have faded out of his life; she was still in intensive care but as far Ichigo had made out Toshiro hadn't gone to visit her, the captain didn't mention her and whenever she came up in conversation he fell silent. Ichigo supposed it was Hitsugaya's way of protecting himself from further pain.

"Hey, Ichigo"

The soul reaper looked round as Hanataro appeared beside him looking slightly breathless "hey, Hanataro, you going somewhere?"

"I heard from Captain Unohana that Captain Hitsugaya intended to leave, I'm supposed to try and persuade him out of it. But I looked in his room and he was already gone"

"Yeah, you just missed him"

"Oh no!" Hanataro clasped his hands together "oh Captain Unohana's going to be so mad! I can't believe I missed him, I was supposed to make him stay"

"Don't worry about it" Ichigo assured him "short of tying Toshiro down there was no way anyone was keeping him here, the guy's made a beeline for his office"

"But I didn't even get a chance!" Hanataro wailed, "oh I knew I should have come earlier but Renji's been keeping me running about demanding all sorts of pain relief and healing herbs!"

Ichigo snorted, "that Renji, you'd think he could handle a little war wound. He only broke his arm after all, and that wasn't even fighting Kusaka"

"It wasn't? He said that he'd got it in the middle of battle" Hanataro said as he and Ichigo paused at the entrance to the Squad Four Barracks.

"Is that what he said?" Ichigo laughed, "he may have been in the middle of battle but that's not how he broke his arm"

"Then how did he break his arm?"

"He tried to grab Rukia in an arm lock but she dodged him and he fell down a flight of stairs" Ichigo snickered "he dislodged his shoulder and broke his arm trying to pop it back in by himself"

Hanataro blinked "really? He told me that he'd broken his arm protecting the Seireitei"

"He's a Lieutenant, Hanataro, protecting the Seireitei sounds better than getting outmanoeuvred by an unranked officer"

Hanataro smiled "yeah, I guess it does" he looked sideways at Ichigo "so I hear you're leaving today"

"Yup, I'm going back home" Ichigo sighed happily "back to normality once again"

"Have you contacted Uryu and the others?"

"No, the Soul Society haven't been able to make contact with the World Of The Living recently, they say it's due to the Ouin. Apparently residue from the Ouin's power has messed up the signal" Ichigo replied "still, I doubt the guys will be that worried about me, they know I can handle myself and I'm seeing them soon anyway so it's no big deal"

"Please tell them hello from me" Hanataro smiled.

"Will do, Hanataro" Ichigo turned to leave the Squad Four Barracks "you take care of yourself now, and don't let Renji get the better of you either"

"Haha! Right!" Hanataro waved as Ichigo travelled down the walkway "see you soon, Ichigo!"

"Hey, Ichigo, you weren't planning on leaving without saying goodbye?" Renji's head appeared over Ichigo's left shoulder "that would just be unkind"

"I was hoping to avoid you all together" the redhead muttered under his breath.

Renji scowled and gave the substitute a good thwack about the ears "that is no way to talk to an injured man! Have a little respect for those of us who have suffered-"

"You haven't suffered!" Ichigo snorted "you broke your arm when you were squabbling with Rukia, it's your own fault"

"No, it's Rukia's fault" Renji disagreed.

"You're the one that pissed her off!"

"She made a cocky smart-ass remark about my hair!"

"Can you blame her? You look like you've got a shrivelled up pineapple on your head!"

"Why you little- I'm gonna strangle you!" Renji got his free arm round Ichigo's head "ha! Who's the shrivelled pineapple now!"

"Gah- Renji, get off!" Ichigo wiggled ineffectually.

"Ha! Nothing's going to release my grip!" Renji guffawed "you're doomed now!"

"Lieutenant, remove your arm from around that Ryoka's neck"

Renji leapt of his skin and whirled around, Ichigo still in his lock, to see his Captain standing there "Captain!" he dropped Ichigo "I was…uh…"

"Seeing as you seemed to have recovered, Renji, it would be advisable for you to escort myself and the Ryoka to the gate before returning to your daily duties" Byakuya ordered in his emotionless and, it had to be said, condescending tones.

"Y-Yes, Captain, right away!"

Meanwhile, Ichigo had managed to pick himself up from the ground. He glared at Renji "you're just lucky I'm going home, otherwise this could have got messy!"

"I'm lucky?" Renji hooted "you're the one that's lucky, pal! If you weren't going home then things would get more than a little messy!"

* * *

"What do you mean, there's a problem?" Ichigo repeated numbly.

He was standing before the great gates that would open up and allow him home; however, Ukitake was standing tall in front of these very same gates with a very dubious expression on his face. Rukia, also present, had the same look as she looked between Ichigo and the gates.

"The gates won't open" she explained, "it must be more residue from the Ouin, it's sealed the gates shut"

"But you can open them, right?" Ichigo asked, "they can be opened?"

"Seemingly not" Ukitake replied, "I've tried various incantations and methods of opening, but none of them are working. The gates won't open"

"Seriously! B-But this is a big crisis!" Renji spluttered as his Captain stood two feet behind him giving the scene a melancholy look.

"Too right this is a big crisis!" Ichigo agreed, "how am I meant to get home?"

"More to the point, how are soul reapers in The Land Of The Living going to get home?" Renji pointed out "there has to be a way"

"We've tried opening the gates" Ukitake replied "even as a group, when we attack, the gates remain shut" he gestured the few members of Squad Thirteen who had accompanied him "nothing is working"

"But there must be another way" Ichigo now looked from Rukia to Ukitake and back again "some other way of getting to The World Of The Living"

"I'm sorry, Ichigo, there is no other way" Ukitake sighed heavily "the Ouin has really messed up all our entrances and exits, the pressure of the power has sealed them and until that seal has been broken the doors are locked"

"So you have to break the seal, that doesn't sound too hard" Ichigo reasoned, as he pulled his Zanpakuto forth "let me have a go at it, I'll have that seal broken in no time"

"Ichigo! That's a bad idea-" Ukitake began but he was cut off by a long drawl that sliced through them all.

"If you attack the door with your Zanpakuto then you could very well break the door itself" Captain Kuchiki said in his slow silent voice "I would refrain from doing so as it would be your entrapment here forever"

Ichigo lowered his sword and glared at Byakuya "so what, you just expect me to wait here patiently while the seal decides to break itself? Does anyone even know how long that'll be?"

Renji looked from the redhead to his captain and then replied with a shrug "for a seal to break the power within it must die and whither out, that could take days, years even"

"How many years!" Ichigo demanded, though he wasn't really convinced he wanted the answer.

Renji looked uncomfortable and gave Rukia a sidelong look before answering, "I'm sorry, Ichigo, I don't know. It could be anything from a week to a hundred years-"

"A HUNDRED YEARS!" roared the substitute "ARE YOU EVEN SERIOUS! I can't stay here for a hundred years! My body would decay; I'd be a rotten corpse, that's if I survived a hundred years in this dammed Soul Society! I have a life to live, things I want to do with my life that don't include sending ghosts-"

"Then I suggest you should refrain from attacking the door" Byakuya turned from the small group and gestured his lieutenant to follow him "if you attack the door with all your power it could reflect off the seal and kill you"

Ichigo gaped in amazement and aggravation as the stoic captain walked silently away, his lieutenant making frantic apologetic gestures as he followed "hey, Byakuya, get back here! You can't just leave me here! What am I going to do?"

"It doesn't look like you have much choice," Rukia pointed out with a sigh "it looks like you're stuck here"

Ichigo scowled and angrily stuffed his Zanpakuto back over his shoulder "great" he said savagely "that's just great that is"

* * *

And so Ichigo is stuck in the Soul Society, and it marks the beginning of a story.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks for reading!

Please leave a review.

Kiki


	2. Next To Death Sits Life

Hey, everyone!

Firstly just want to say thanks for the review, alerts and favourites! Thank you! I was going to update yesterday but got distracted by the small matter of Vampire Knight, I'm only on the second episode and already I love it! Zero is an instant favourite! And from the point of view of a yaoi fan - so many new pairings to get my teeth in to! I've also been watching Loveless; it's kinda strange but I think it's growing on me, I like the way Ritsuka and Yuiko remind me of Toshiro and Rangiku.

Speaking of strange anime I've been watching, not that any of you are actually interested, My Bride Is A Mermaid has to be one of the most bizarre anime I've watched to date - and yet it's so sweet and funny! And I've been watching the anime story of Romeo and Juilet; Shakespere isn't really my thing but I was interested, it's not a bad story once you get in to it. Romeo's cute and Juliet kicks ass, it's also beautifully animated to.

However, before I completly get distracted, back to the story.

WARNINGS: None. Bad grammar possibly.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.

Last Time: Toshiro has left the Squad Four Barracks to return to his daily duties, while Ichigo tried to return home only to discover that the residue of the Ouin has formed some kinda forcefield around the Seireitei, making it impossible to return to the World Of The Living.

Enjoy!

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**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Two: Next To Death Sits Life **

Storming through the Seireitei wasn't the brightest of ideas; he may have made his way through the hostile place with his dubbed name of Ryoka, but Ichigo Kurosaki's sense of direction could be compared to Renji's hairstyle in the morning - a complete failure. But at this moment in time that didn't matter, none of it mattered, because it wasn't like he was on his way to anywhere important. He was trapped here, like a mouse in a trap, stuck until the residue of the Ouin had seen fit to dissolve itself in to nothing.

To say that Ichigo was pissed off by the whole affair was understating the fact considerably; but even _that_ hadn't driven him in to storming through the streets of Seireitei like a madman gone crazy. No, what had sent him flaming through the streets of the Seireitei was one Soul Reaper and one Soul Reaper alone. Byakuya Kuchiki.

Now, even Ichigo had to admit that he and the Captain of Squad Six had never maintained a close relationship; Byakuya had enflamed Ichigo by deeming it wise to execute his own sister while Ichigo had infuriated the stoic Captain by simply not dying. It was a stalemate between them, neither one wanting to offer the hand of friendship and often during his life as a Soul Reaper Ichigo had actually wondered if the silent Captain Kuchiki was capable of making friends; still, it didn't bother him so long as Byakuya didn't piss him off.

The problem right now was…Byakuya had pissed him off.

Big time.

Ichigo grumbled to himself, cursing the Seireitei, Kusaka, the Ouin and Byakuya Kuchiki; it didn't help his situation in any way, but damn it made him feel better, and cursing Byakuya Kuchiki really made him feel good. The fact that none of this was actually Byakuya's fault was completely irrelevant.

Having found himself well and truly stuck within the Soul Society he was now looking for a place to stay; something which would have been more than easy if it wasn't for the fact that _Captain _Byakuya Kuchiki was a tight-lipped condescending overrated elongated prick. From the moment Ichigo had been stranded in the Soul Society both Renji and Rukia had clamoured to offer him places to stay; Rukia had proffered him rooms at Squad Thirteen while Renji had given him space in his Lieutenant rooms.

However, both of these suggestions were quickly quelled in to silence when Byakuya turned his serious deadpan expression on them; he had no need to speak but his meaning was clear, Ichigo would prove a nuisance to Renji while there was more chance that Yamamoto would wear a tutu than his acceptance of Ichigo wandering free around his adopted sister all day.

This of course had left the substitute somewhat stranded and abandoned, and the real problem was that he had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to. He couldn't see himself accepting board from the Head Captain Yamamoto, Ichigo would be constantly starting up revolutions and upsetting Yamamoto's order of things. And there was no way in hell he planned to stay with Kenpachi, not if he wanted to leave the Soul Society in one piece; knowing the Captain of Squad Eleven as he did, Ichigo was ready to place bets that he would be challenged in his sleep if Kenpachi got the chance.

Requesting a bed from Soi Fon was also a bad idea; he and the Second Squad Captain had never really hit it off, not when she considered him a waste of time and he realised he thought she was obnoxious despite what Yoruichi tried to tell him. As for the rest of the Captains Ichigo wasn't well acquainted with them save for Kyoraku; but for the preservation of his liver the substitute deemed it wise to stay clear of the Barracks of Squad Eight, rumour had it that when the wind was right you could almost taste the hint of sake on the air.

Squads Three and Nine were also out of the question; both Izuru and Hisagi were still held up in the Squad Four Barracks, still recovering from Toshiro's recent attack on them, and even if they had been on duty Ichigo very much doubted they would have let him stay with the excuse that his presence would cause too much of a distraction and they did not run a hotel business.

So that just left one.

Ichigo reached the entrance to the Squad Ten Barracks with a sigh; he pondered for a moment if it was worth staying out in the streets of the Seireitei rather than asking Toshiro Hitsugaya for a place to stay. Of course he realised that there was more chance of Kenpachi calling a truce than Toshiro actually allowing him to stay; but he had to try, he wasn't keen on the idea of sleeping rough in the Seireitei, part of him felt he'd be safer in Aizen's hospitality than risk a night out on the street where any drunk and self satisfied Soul Reaper could find him.

He was entering the corridor and making his way to the Captain's office before anyone realised who he was and what he was doing; there was a shout and the flurry of feet "no, you can't go in there! Captain Hitsugaya doesn't want to be disturbed!"

"What he wants doesn't come in to it" Ichigo replied marching on regardless "he doesn't have a choice"

"But- please wait, sir!"

Without bothering to knock the substitute pulled the door back and walked right in oblivious to the protests behind him; sliding the door shut once more he turned back in to the large spacious room. It hadn't changed since the last time he'd been there; the large window still looked out over the Seireitei, the desk was still sat heavily near the far wall, while the sofa spread out before the shelves upon shelves of books.

Seated at his desk was Toshiro with his Lieutenant leaning unabashedly over his shoulder intently reading what it was her Captain wrote; they both looked up as Ichigo entered the room and as one blinked, Rangiku with surprise and Toshiro with a snort of irritation.

The substitute grinned at the pair of them and wandered further in to the room thinking through his various persuasions he'd thought of to make Toshiro let him stay. If Toshiro was interested for Ichigo's presence when the substitute was supposed to be on his way back to the World Of The Living then he didn't show it; he only frowned for the briefest of moments before retrieving his pen and returning to his work. Rangiku on the other hand pranced over to Ichigo overjoyed at the interruption that had disturbed the paperwork.

"Ichigo, what are you doing here?" she asked twirling around him and nearly knocking over Hyoinmaru which was leant peacefully against the wall "I thought you'd left for the World of the Living" she gave a coy smile and a wink "couldn't you leave without saying goodbye to me? Oh, how romantic!"

"Uh, actually I can't leave at all, there's some kinda force field blocking the gate, I can't get through" the redhead sighed as he settled himself against the back of the sofa "the Ouin's really screwed everything up"

"But that's terrible!" gasped the Lieutenant whirling round to Toshiro "isn't that awful, Captain!"

"Why would I care?" retorted the white headed Soul Reaper "none of my Squad are in the World Of The Living and Yamamoto has seen fit to suspend any World Of The Living duties we have, none of Squad Ten will be descending down any time soon"

"But what about poor Ichigo?" Rangiku pouted at him "surely you feel for him, he's stuck here, that must be hell"

"Being stuck in the same world as you would give anyone hell"

"Aww, have a little compassion! He has family down in the World Of The Living"

"So? What do you want me to do about it?" when he didn't get a response Toshiro looked up from his papers to find his Lieutenant stuck for a reasonable solution, he lifted an eyebrow "well?"

"I don't know!" Rangiku sulked "you're the Captain, it's your job to come up with the ideas"

"Don't mind me" Ichigo assured them patiently "I'll just stand here waiting and pretending I don't exist while you two talk"

"What an brilliant idea" replied Toshiro focussing back on his work "while you're at it, why don't you go and not exist somewhere else?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and strolled up to the desk; he placed his hands firmly on Toshiro's work and leant over so the Captain was forced to look up at him "look, while the Ouin's residue is still in the air I'm trapped here"

"Annoying as that must be, I fail to see the reason for your presence here" Toshiro replied eyes narrowing in to a dark scowl as he watched Ichigo's fingers smudge the careful tidy work he'd just spent the last hour working on.

Pointedly ignoring this blatant attempt to rid himself of the substitute, Ichigo pursed his lips and said heavily "Renji said these seals can take a long time to weaken and dissolve, anything from a few days to a hundred years"

"That is correct" Toshiro agreed "the power of the Ouin was strong enough to leave residue behind in the air, this residue will form an invisible wall that matches the shield Kusaka created"

"Exactly, which is bad news for me" the substitute pointed out "I don't know how long I'm gonna be here, no one does, so, I need a place to stay. I was wondering if I could camp out with Squad Ten for a while"

"Of course you can!" Rangiku gushed happily.

"Absolutely not" Toshiro rejected.

"Aww, why not?" Rangiku whined, pouting at her Captain "it's about time we had a strapping young hero staying with us"

"If Kurosaki stayed here you would only use him as an excuse to relieve yourself of the duties you already don't do" Hitsugaya tugging the papers sharply from under Ichigo's hands and glaring at the dark smudges across the pages that made the writing unreadable "besides, we have nowhere to put him"

"Of course we do!" Rangiku flung her arm around Ichigo and pulled him close to her breast "he can share my room" she winked roguishly "we'll have so much fun together!"

"Uhh…actually I was hoping that-" Ichigo began, but was soon cut off by Rangiku's ample bosom. He struggled and squawked arms flapping madly.

"If Ichigo Kurosaki so much as places a toe beyond the threshold of your door I shall personally order the official guard to run him through with each and every Zanpakuto that Squad Ten possesses" Toshiro answered bluntly "and, Rangiku, put him down. The last thing I want to do is explained why the substitute Soul Reaper Ichigo Kurosaki was suffocated to death in my office"

"Hey, I don't like that insult you would be insinuating!"

"And which insult would that be?"

"Don't act coy and cute, you're making remarks about my boobs!"

"Oh please, don't get all shy on me now" the Captain snorted "we've had enough discussions regarding your cleavage for me to realise you wouldn't give a damn if your uniform split open"

"That could be arranged, you know" Rangiku cooed at him a hand drifting teasingly over her uniform as if to loosen it further "would you like a sneaky peak?"

"No, I would NOT! Get back to work!"

She giggled "ooo, lighten up, taking a look won't do you any harm, a young man like you needs a woman in his life"

"And a woman like you will get a kick up the backside if you don't get on with your work!"

"Guys" Ichigo interrupted when Rangiku looked as if she were about to complain "if we could just get back to the subject of me for a minute" Ichigo gave the Captain a look of earnest plea "all I'm asking is a few days just until the seal breaks, I promise I won't get in the way"

"That I doubt" Toshiro scoffed giving Ichigo a critical look "I still don't see the need to ask me for boarding, why not ask another Captain?"

"Come on, can you see my staying with Kenpachi and the rest of Squad Eleven? I'd never make it out alive!"

"And that's a problem?"

Ignoring this Ichigo sighed and implored to Toshiro's invisible better nature "please?"

Toshiro gave him a dark look "oh come on, Captain!" Rangiku ushered springing around him like a new born lamb "he'll be good company while you rest and recover"

"I don't need to rest and recover" her Captain growled "I'm perfectly fine"

"That's not what Captain Unohana says" she contradicted "she says you mustn't over exert yourself, and you must take your medication" for a moment she turned serious and pointed a finger at him like she were a parent ordering a small child to behave "that fight with Kusaka took a lot out of you, both mentally and physically, you need rest and lots of it"

"Really?" Toshiro arched an eyebrow "so does that mean you will be completing all the paperwork from now on?"

Rangiku faltered, "I don't think we need to go that far, do we?" she sputtered quickly "it's only paper after all, not really stressful. I thought I could take over the more physical side of things"

"Hmm, now why doesn't that surprise me?" he muttered, before turning his attention back to Ichigo; he gave the substitute one more look over and then relented "fine, you can stay here. But only because you've helped me recently and I feel I should repay my debt"

Ichigo grinned "thanks, Toshiro"

"But if I find you anywhere near Lieutenant Matsumoto's rooms I will personally slay you myself"

"Done deal"

"Oh, Captain! I never knew you could be so possessive about me!" Rangiku hummed "I didn't know you cared about me so much!"

"I don't" Toshiro replied shortly "but I know full well that if a man steps inside your room then neither of you will ever come out, and I'll be stuck for the rest of eternity doing all the paperwork"

"Captain, you are funny!" Rangiku laughed "why would I need to have a man in my room when all men can perform perfectly well outside the parameter of the bedroom?"

Toshiro looked at her for a moment, and his eyes narrowed "Rangiku, you don't-"

"Bring guys in here and have mad passionate rough sex on the desk?" asked Rangiku cheerfully "of course not!"

"RANGIKU!" Toshiro lurched from the desk.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" she guffawed at them as Ichigo withdrew back "oh you two, you're hilarious! So innocent! You act so tough and mean but on the inside- what are you doing?"

She had broken off abruptly as her Captain had retrieved his Zanpakuto from the wall "there is somewhere I have to go" Toshiro replied lashing his weapon to his back "I shall return later, I want you to show Kurosaki to the empty room next to mine"

"But where are you going?" Rangiku bemoaned, "you're supposed to be resting! Don't tell me you're going to the training grounds again!"

"Training grounds?" Toshiro span round sharply his blue eyes wide "how do you know I've been there?" he demanded.

"Well…I saw you…" Rangiku explained rather taken aback by the way her Captain had whirled round on her "you're always going there, sneaking around like a criminal, why?"

"As the name might suggest I go there to train" said Toshiro shortly, brushing off the matter as if it meant nothing and he rode over his Lieutenant before she could speak again "when you get back to the office I want to take any messages and complete that paperwork"

Rangiku hesitated still puzzled by Toshiro's sharp voice, then she realised what he'd just told her to do "paperwork?" she repeated, and then looked around "what paperwork?"

"The paperwork on the desk that you are so keenly trying to avoid" said her Captain in a clear voice leaving Rangiku no option but to look resignedly at the desk "if I find that you have not completed it all by the time I return then I shall make sure that the secret stash of Sake you have hidden behind that bookshelf over there is well and truly destroyed, understand?"

Ichigo grinned as Rangiku openly wept because her secret hiding place had been found out; Toshiro rolled his eyes and went to the door with an impatient sigh "Captain" Rangiku ran to him and captured his shoulder, he turned at her touch and instinctively pulled away.

"What"

"You're not really going to the training grounds again, are you?"

"It's none of your business where I go" Toshiro replied obstinately, then saw her look of concern; he yielded "I'm not going to the training grounds"

She gave him a shrewd suspicious look "pinkie swear?"

"What!"

"Pinkie swear, it's an old World Of The Living tradition apparently" Rangiku held up her little finger "it's supposed to mean you're making a vow that you can't break"

Toshiro remained speechless for a moment while beside him Ichigo suppressed a snicker "Rangiku, you're letting the ideas and notions of the World Of The Living rule your head, I've never heard of anything so ridiculous"

He turned on his heel and left the room smartly, giving sharp orders to a couple of Soul Reapers who were dossing outside; they jumped to and sped off down the corridor before their Captain could berate them further. Irritably he slid the door shut behind him and shook his head in despair.

* * *

The sun was high in the sky, its warmth heating the world below it with a temperature that burned even in the shade; the huge fiery burning orb had just peaked its top most position and was now beginning its slow descent back in to the land as the day drew on in to early afternoon. The Seireitei was silent at a time like this, the thick air making the most active of Soul Reapers sluggish and hot; around on some of the roofs small groups could be seen blatantly skipping out on their duties to enjoy the sun; there was little chance they would get caught, their commanding officers would also be shirking their jobs and it wasn't the Captain's responsibility to chivvy them back in to work.

Ichigo was sweating as he entered the entrance of the graveyard and took a moment in the sweltering heat of the shadow, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand; so far he hadn't been found bored, Ukitake had not had any issue about Ichigo and Rukia taking some time out to train in the training grounds and he had apologised for not allowing the substitute to stay with Squad Thirteen with the explanation that he was not prepared to oppose Byakuya's wishes for Ichigo not to stay the night in the same Barracks as his adopted sister.

Though still peeved at Byakuya's massively over rated assumptions about the relationship between Rukia and Ichigo, the substitute had not been keen to place Ukitake in an uncomfortable position. Therefore he assured the weakened Captain that there was no need to apologise and he already had lodgings with Squad Ten; both Ukitake and Rukia had given looks of surprise to this information and Ukitake made a comment about Toshiro's sudden hospitality when most of the time he was wiping Soul Reapers away with his foot.

Ichigo had stayed with Squad Thirteen until midday had seen fit to bring Byakuya along with it; Rukia had left then to spend the afternoon with the Kuchiki clan and was given leave of her afternoon duties. This had left Ichigo on his own as Renji had been called away that morning to attend a hollow alert, though Ichigo had a sneaky suspicion that Byakuya had arranged it so, it seemed the Squad Six Captain was determined to make Ichigo miserable.

Ichigo had been on his way to have it out with the pompous ass when he'd crashed straight in to Rangiku; it seemed her Captain had not been seen since that morning, she did not know where he was and could not feel his spiritual pressure anywhere. Though she had made light of this it was clear it had bothered her more than she'd let on; in her hands she'd clutched a small bottle of medication that Toshiro was supposed to be taking. No one knew where he was, no one had heard from him.

Of course Ichigo had realised where the Captain was the moment he'd been told Toshiro could not be felt anywhere; there was only one place where Toshiro would want to ensure he was left alone. To Ichigo the answer seemed so simple, whereas to everyone else it was a mystery. But maybe that was because Ichigo knew what it was like; knew the feelings and pain Toshiro was going through, he had lost his own mother after all. And that pain had only ever subsided when he'd been near her, the place where she'd died or standing in front of her grave staring down at her name emblazed on the headstone.

Sighing softly the substitute walked quietly though graves and headstones each denoting a long dead Soul Reaper, the more important with grand memorials that over shadowed the lesser known; even in this place hierarchy was paramount Ichigo realised feeling a flare of annoyance at those who lorded over others even in death. This place was big and vast, spreading out as far as the eye could see; he wasn't sure how he was going to find the young Captain in this maze when Toshiro's white hair did the searching for him.

He was seated by a gravestone on the edge of a path, leaning against it in the sticky heat air; his eyes were closed and his body relaxed. The perfect picture of someone asleep; except he was by the grave of a dead friend and Toshiro Hitsugaya never fell asleep out in the open when there was so much danger around, he was too alert for that. Right now the Captain was listening to Ichigo's every move; the substitute stopped in front him, his shadow looming over Toshiro and casting the white headed Soul Reaper in to gloom.

"I know you're not asleep, Toshiro, don't pretend"

Toshiro's huge blue eyes open slowly and he looked up in to Ichigo's darkened face with a dangerous warning gaze; he contemplated the substitute for a moment, his brow furrowing in to a frown. Ichigo waited silently, watching the Captain watching him "I'll ask you nicely to leave, Ichigo" Toshiro said in a quietly controlled voice.

"Nah, you've had your time alone" the substitute sat himself down next to the Captain ignoring the glare "you really think I'm just gonna let you sit here and wallow?"

"I would have thought that you of all people would understand that I want to be left alone" Toshiro had looked away and didn't look at him while he spoke; his eyes had narrowed in to a look of resentful acceptance. He had accepted, more quietly than Ichigo had expected, that Ichigo would not leave unless Toshiro ran him through with Hyoinmaru and even then the Captain wasn't completely convinced that killing the substitute would actually make him go away.

"Yeah, I get that" Ichigo admitted "but Rangiku is worrying about you, and you haven't taken your medication"

"I'm not in any pain"

"It's to help stop any infection" the substitute corrected, "you need to take it to make sure the wound doesn't become susceptible to any diseases or-"

"Kurosaki, don't talk at me like I'm a patient"

"Well then don't act so stupid, it doesn't suit you"

"I'm perfectly fine," snapped the Captain "I don't need you checking up on me!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes "you're doing that thing again"

"And what would that be?"

"That thing where you shut everyone out and lock your emotions in" the substitute elaborated, though he knew there was no need to, Toshiro knew exactly what he was talking about "I thought I told you to stop doing that"

"What you actually did was punch me in the face"

"You deserved it, we were all worried about you and we wanted to help, but you just shut us out" Ichigo looked sideways at the Captain beside him whose brow was darker than ever "you're doing it again now, Rangiku's been looking for you, she's worried about you"

Toshiro said nothing for a moment; he rested his head back against the stone and lifted his head to the skies, above a bird drifted over its wings casting small shadows on the ground "it's time for you to leave, Kurosaki"

"No, you've been here hours" Ichigo replied firmly; he sighed heavily and through pursed lips tried another tactic "look, I know it hurts. I lost my mom for crying out loud, I _know _how much it can hurt. But that's why it's so important to talk to other people; I know you think you're being strong by keeping it to yourself, but you're not. Keeping it to yourself only makes the pain worse"

Now it was Toshiro who sighed, a soft sound that was like a whisper; for an instant he looked as if he were about to say something harsh, but his gaze fell and his expression cleared "I know you think you know what you're talking about" he replied, not in an unkind voice "but I don't want to talk"

"No" agreed Ichigo "you want things to go back to normal, back to the days when you believed Kusaka had died back in the Soul Academy. I get that, I don't blame you for it, Toshiro, but it's not going to be like that, not anymore"

A white eyebrow twitched skywards and Toshiro snorted quietly "who knew you could look so stupid and yet be so enlightened"

"I keep telling you I know what I'm talking about," said Ichigo ignoring the jibe, with, admittedly, some difficulty "Kusaka was your friend and he died, but you need to deal with that and let it go"

"Then let me deal with it and leave"

The words were harder, the voice more forceful but Ichigo had given himself a promise that he would not leave Toshiro here; he had grown up to believe that no one should visit a grave alone, every year the Kurosaki family went to visit the grave of his mother, but Ichigo had never gone there alone.

But he knew Toshiro would never appreciate him trying to persuade him of this, so Ichigo sat there quietly saying no more; there was a pause, filled only by the twittering of a bird flying overhead, and the Captain gave the substitute a mistrusting look. He looked as he was about to send Ichigo away again; but then he stopped and huffed irritably, speaking nothing more and Ichigo smiled when he realised that if he said nothing it was alright for him to stay, just as long as he gave no lectures. Sometimes lectures just weren't the right thing to do. And after all maybe Toshiro was glad for the company, though gratitude might be too much to expect.

* * *

And there ya have it! Chapter two done!

I hope you enjoyed it, and please leave a review with your opinion.

Thanks for reading!

Kiki


	3. A Captain And His Secret I

So I was gonna update Beat Of A Dammed Lover, because I've already written that story, but I wanted to get this chapter up instead; I'm not sure what I feel about this chapter, I like how it's turned out but I'm not entirely sure where it's going - like that's anything new. Hmm, I'm sure it'll come to me, it usually does, I've just been hit so hard with Writer's Block and I've been so totally swamped by my new obession - GLEE! YAY! Can't wait until 12th of April!

Anyway, this is the first of a two part chapter (hence the I); I wasn't sure of this idea when I first thought of it and I'm still not completely sure but I had to put a little drama in there otherwise I couldn't figure out how to bring Ichigo and Toshiro closer - I'm not one of these people who can create a love story for the sake of a love story, there has to be something else in there and this is what I came up with...whether it's good or not remains to be seen.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.

WARNINGS: None that I can think of. Bad grammar maybe. One or two mistakes.

Enjoy!

* * *

**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Three: A Captain And His Secret I**

The hour was late, the dark night with its bright stars glittered through the open window drifting in with the warm breeze that gave the small empty room a sense of comfort. But Ichigo couldn't sleep; he was concerned about Uryu, Orihime and Chad. They would be worried about him and would be even more alarmed once they discovered that they could not break through the barrier and, even _more _worryingly, could not contact the Soul Society in any way.

He was bothered about the way they'd faired up; being in battle with those two hollow girls would have been difficult even if it had been three on two, Ichigo had no doubt that his friends had won, but that didn't stop him brooding over it.

He sighed and sat up from the bed where he'd been lying above the covers; the room was empty save for the bed that took up the middle, there were a pile of spare sheets over in the corner but no other indication that this room was used as sleeping quarters. The window that looked out in to the grounds of Squad Ten was enough to clamber through if he wanted; but it was so dark and obscure it felt like there was a physical block between him and the outside world.

The Seireitei had grown eerily quiet, as the evening had drawn on; a lot of Soul Reapers had gone off in their group of friends to drink and relax after the day's work and now the Barracks in which he stayed were empty save for the odd night watch that flashed by. Ichigo had been tired, unwilling, to participate in any late night activates; he felt he hadn't the energy to survive a night of drunk Soul Reapers all trying to start a drinking competition with him. It dawned on him for the first time, that maybe the battle with Kusaka had taken more out of him than he'd first realised.

Despite this he still couldn't relax and drift off in to sleep; it annoyed him, but every sound and rustle had him twitching and shifting uncomfortably on the bed, grumbling quietly he rested his head back against the wall and turned his head to the oppressive window as another Soul Reaper on night duty swept by. Other than that all was empty and still, thick with night and covered by the dark skies above. It made Ichigo feel as if he were the only person alive. Sometimes he liked that feeling; but now it felt strange and restless, he was in the Seireitei not chilled out at home, it put him on edge.

It was this vigilance that allowed his ears to catch the soft noise of movement from the room next to his, Toshiro's room; up until that point Ichigo hadn't even known that the young Captain was held up in his room, there was no sense of spiritual pressure nor had the Soul Reaper made any sound until now. But now there was the quiet sound of footsteps, the soft muted clunk of a Zanpakuto being lifted from where it stood by the wall; curiously Ichigo turned his head to press his ear harder against the wall, he was just listening to Toshiro move to the window when he realised that the noises were floating through his window, not through the wall itself

Curiously he quickly got from the bed and scrambled his way through the dark to the window; the fresh air hit his face and the incense, there to hide the musky smell of the room, made his eyes water as he leant over it and peered out the window. There was a drape that hung to his right and it got in his way as he tilted precariously forward in order to get a better view.

The skies above were filled with big heavy clouds that drifted on in the breeze that pushed them through their journey; now, as Ichigo popped his head out, the edge of a vast cloud floated on and the moon was revealed beyond. What had been dark cast night lit up in the glow of the bright circular orb that hung in the black velvet of the sky like a lantern; it shone in to the darkest of shadows and the Seireitei about him became clear and sharp, easy to see the tiniest of detail.

Toshiro Hitsugaya's white haori almost seem to glow in the light of the moon as he slipped it on and clasped his green sash about his shoulders; ensuring his Zanpakuto was securely fastened to his back the Soul Reaper paused to greet a night watch who quickly bowed to him, clearly taken aback to see that his Captain had just clambered out of his own bedroom window.

Toshiro ordered the watcher on and waited for him to disappear from sight; Ichigo's interest peaked, he'd snuck out his bedroom window back home enough times to know when someone didn't want to be heard. The Captain had totally hidden his spiritual pressure, it almost felt as if he weren't there at all; however, he wasn't as ghostly as he was attempting to achieve, because when he took a step forward he had to stop abruptly, pain had flared through him and for a moment he paused, breathing deeply, to clutch his stomach.

Having regained control of himself, Toshiro took a quick look around and leapt up in to the air; he landed on a rooftop and flashed away again, disappearing from sight in a matter of seconds. Ichigo hesitated; there could be a whole number of legitimate reasons why the Captain had snuck out of his window in the dead of night and swept away when he thought no one was watching. It wasn't any of Ichigo's business even if Toshiro's actions were suspicious; he was not a part of the Seireitei, he did not work for Yamamoto, there was neither duty nor any other reason why Ichigo should feel the need to follow.

Ducking back in to his room he grabbed Zangetsu from where it leant against the wall and flung it over his back; dashing back to the window, he leapt up on to the ledge and jumped out in to the night, landing lightly to the ground. Checking around for any sentries or any Reaper disturbed he turned to the rooftop Toshiro had vanished over.

There was no point in feeling for the Captain's spiritual pressure; he wasn't very good at tracking it in the first place, and, even if he had been, Toshiro could conceal his reishi with a control and skill that Ichigo himself would never be able to achieve. There was no movement around him and no one was in sight; so Ichigo prepared himself and jumped high in to the sky, sweeping through the air at amazing speed and landing on the rooftop with ease.

Despite Toshiro's lack of spiritual pressure Ichigo had a pretty good idea where to head; there was the graveyard in which Kusaka was now laid to rest, but beyond that were the training grounds that spread out behind, it was used for physical training schemes by various squads and Rangiku had asked Toshiro about it when she'd seen him in there on his own. He'd come up with some lame excuse, which at the time hadn't made any sense; now something clicked in Ichigo's brain and he set off over the top of the Seireitei.

* * *

The training area was vast as it was deep; the great gaping mouth in the valley opened out like the huge hole in a hollow, it was where Reapers sparred each other or performed various physical exercises that improved their skills in teamwork, group attacks, this place was also used for the occasional inspection a Captain would sometimes call for. This place had seen a lot of action: Reapers fighting each other, defending each other or working as a group to defeat the enemy.

Now, however, the place was dark and quiet as Ichigo stumbled down the rocky narrow ledge that was the main pathway down; it would have been easier to flash step his way down, but Toshiro would have felt his spiritual pressure and right now Ichigo was making a clumsy attempt at sneaking. When he'd first arrived at the edge of the training ground he hadn't been able see the young Captain; but as he had descended down awkwardly the ledge he'd spotted the bright white haori that shone in the light of the moon, the white hair looked silver in the hue.

As Ichigo reached the bottom he paused and saw that the Soul Reaper was standing by the section of the wall some way away from him; his hand was rested lightly on the rock surface and he appeared to be concentrating, there was a light around his hand shimmering and throbbing and Toshiro stood there silent his eyes closed under a furrowed brow.

Hyoinmaru was lying quietly on the ground by Toshiro's feet; now Ichigo moved forwards, softly, but not bothering to keep close out of sight. Although Toshiro didn't seem to be aware of him Ichigo was willing to place bets that he would be found out at any second; but the way that Toshiro was standing by the cliff face bothered him, his hand was still pressed to the wall and now Toshiro's lips were moving slowly.

Ichigo's curiosity was burning; before Toshiro clearly hadn't wanted to be seen, and now he was standing so close to the wall, keeping out from sight from anyone who might look over the edge. If Ichigo hadn't known the Captain was down here in the first place, he would have walked on and not been any the wiser; but this secrecy confused him, it made him suspicious and bemused. He'd never known Toshiro to be secretive; Toshiro was elusive, self contained and lived by a strict need to know basis, but he wasn't sly.

But surely that couldn't mean that he was up to something he shouldn't be, this was Toshiro Hitsugaya; he was trustworthy, loyal. Toshiro obeyed orders and adhered to the rules, more than some of the other Captains bothered to; he'd worked hard for his Captaincy, he would never go against anything that might upset his position.

But that had all been before Kusaka.

Could it be that the tragedy of Kusaka had traumatized Toshiro more than they'd all realised? Had Toshiro really fallen over the edge of his own sensibility? No, that couldn't be true. Immediately Ichigo shook away any stupid notions that Toshiro was doing something wrong; he knew Toshiro, better than the Captain would ever realise, they were more alike in so many ways.

Still, there was still the unknown that itched at Ichigo's neck; he could feel Toshiro's spiritual pressure now as Toshiro's hand still lay flat against the rocky wall that towered above them, the glow around his fingers flickered. Despite his certainty that Toshiro was no traitor, the substitute was forced to admit the Captain was doing something.

Toshiro stood quite still; he didn't move or even look around, though he'd known of Ichigo's presence the moment the substitute's head had popped over the edge of the training grounds high above them. Needless to say it vexed the young Captain that Ichigo had yet again barged straight in to something that was none of his business, but in spite of that it didn't overall surprise him, he would have been more shocked if the substitute hadn't shown up.

At first he'd considered attacking Ichigo, forcing him back and away; but the Captain knew the substitute enough to know that would never had worked. Once Ichigo knew something was up, he would have worried it like a dog with a bone; a good analogy, one that would serve him well considering the fact that sometimes Ichigo reminded him of a unwanted stray dog that would follow one around endlessly.

So he waited quietly, continuing with the reason for his coming here until the substitute was only a few feet away, almost on top of him even "it's rude to sneak up on someone, Kurosaki"

Ichigo scowled and stepped clear from the shadow; he hadn't had his back pressed hard against the cliff wall, but he hadn't realised Toshiro already knew he was there "how'd you know it was me?"

"You mean apart from the fact that you're tramping around like an elephant and releasing your spiritual pressure like a broken tap?"

The substitute scowled at the Captain as he turned to face him taking his hand from the cliff wall; Ichigo felt the icy chill of the eyes that could pierce straight through in to his chest.

"Was there something you wanted?"

Ichigo paused; he looked from the wall back to Toshiro and decided that he'd never been subtle before and he wasn't going to start now "yeah, I wanna know what you're doing"

There was less than five feet between them; Toshiro pursed his lips and looked undecided as to whether he should answer with sarcasm or scorn. In the end, he settled with another question "who's to say I'm doing anything?"

"Oh please, don't try that with me" Ichigo sighed impatiently "I saw you sneak out of your own bedroom window, conceal your spiritual pressure all the way here and now you're standing with your hand pressed to the cliff wall. You gonna tell me which part of that _isn't _odd?"

"Whether it's odd or not is irrelevant, either way it's still none of your concern" replied the Captain. This answer was enough to prove to Ichigo that something was going on; however, he may know he was right, but that didn't mean Hitsugaya would give up his secrets so easily.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Toshiro, you're up to something"

"How do you know I didn't come out here for some peace and quiet?" Toshiro's eyes narrowed "and call me Captain"

"If you wanted peace and quiet you would have gone to Kusaka's grave, or stayed in your rooms" the substitute answered with ease, he sounded like he'd practiced this speech before he'd arrived. Now he frowned, his brown eyes with a level of serious that was dark even for Ichigo "don't try and wriggle out of this" he said in a quiet but stony voice "I know you're up to something, I can feel it"

Still Toshiro would not give up; his own expression was cold and defensive as he tried one last time, without hope of success, to dissuade the substitute from his ridiculous idea that was in fact not far from the truth, he just wasn't sure Ichigo would understand "what if I came here to train?"

"You'd have Hyoinmaru in your hand"

"I could be preparing"

"You could be" Ichigo conceded reluctantly, though his eyes locked on Toshiro's allowing the Captain no chance of escape "but you're not" he took a step closer to the Soul Reaper before him, his brown eyes softening as he searched the cooler blue orbs "what are you up to, Toshiro?"

"_Captain Hitsugaya_!" corrected Toshiro, he folded his arms "I find it insulting you think I should be up to anything" he added in a hard voice, though not without the hint of self defence in his voice, a defence that suggested he knew he was in the wrong. But still, he knew Ichigo would not understand…for the simple fact that he did not understand himself "you make it sound like I'm committing some crime"

"No" Ichigo shook his head "I know you're not doing anything that the Seireitei would disapprove of" he said firmly "but I know something is wrong, it has to be something wrong because if it wasn't then you would have told Rangiku, and she doesn't know that you're out here, does she?"

"Believe it or not" Toshiro said through gritted teeth "I don't inform my Lieutenant over everything I do"

"Not if it endangers her, no" the substitute agreed, "is this something dangerous, Toshiro?

"Why don't you answer your own question?" suggested the Captain savagely "you seem to have a nice little theory cooking up, one which includes me participating in some dishonest and dangerous game"

"Don't be like that. If it is something dangerous then I wanna know what it is, that's all"

"Why would you want to know that?"

Ichigo sighed, he'd known from the start it was going to be a battle with Toshiro, it always was "because you're my friend," he replied tolerantly "if you have a problem then I want to help"

"I don't have a problem!" Toshiro snapped letting his short temper get the better of him.

"Then why are you getting angry?"

"I'm not getting angry!"

"Yes you are, and you're avoiding my questions. You know I know there's something wrong, so why don't you just pretend we had the fight and I won? That way we can get to the part where I help"

"I don't need your help!"

Ichigo scowled "well you're getting it!" he growled "whether you want it or not"

"What's the point of giving help when I don't want it?"

"Because a problem shared is a problem divided"

"Oh for crying out loud, if you're going to start spouting proverbs at me you can get lost!"

"Not until you tell me what's going on!"

They glared at each other, both snarling; Ichigo stared down at the shorter Captain with stubbornness that set the white headed Soul Reaper steaming. Jaws were tense as they remained frozen obstinately and determined to refuse their stance; once again their similarities had them clashing, but in the end Toshiro broke off the stare with a low growl.

With a heavy sigh his huge blue eyes softened with a look of tiredness; then he looked to Ichigo, his expression contemplating the dark glower the substitute was giving him. It was pointless to argue any longer; Ichigo hadn't got through himself through a hostile Seireitei to save Rukia by giving up on fights and conflicts "fine" he admitted shortly "there's a reason I'm here, but I have no intention of telling you what that is"

"Why!" Ichigo asked exasperatedly "I'm not gonna let you blow me off like this!"

"I'm not telling you anything, Ichigo"

"Why not!"

"Because it's official Seireitei business!" Toshiro's voice rose again "something which you will not be privy to!"

"If it's official Seireitei business then why do you look so unhappy about it?" asked Ichigo bluntly.

Toshiro looked taken aback; he hadn't expected Ichigo to take that edge and it caught him off guard. Unsure how to react he turned his face away and instead stooped down for his Zanpakuto "I'm not telling you, Kurosaki"

"Why not?" Ichigo asked again, though this time in a softer voice. He could see Toshiro was cracking but still the substitute felt he was walking on thin ice, one wrong move and he'd lose Toshiro's trust. There was wariness in those azure eyes, one that looked as if it could withdraw at any second.

"Because you wouldn't understand" Hitsugaya replied in a quiet voice.

"Try me"

"No"

"Toshiro!"

"You wouldn't understand!" Toshiro repeated in a harder voice, swinging his weapon over the edge of his back, he stopped and pursed his lips "…this is something I have to do, by myself"

For a brief moment he looked as if he was ready to leave, but Ichigo's hand shot out grabbing Toshiro's arm in a grip stronger than a vice grip; Toshiro glared with a snarl and wrenched his arm free, Ichigo's look was stony "you're not escaping me"

"Go to hell" Toshiro turned away with a swish of his haori.

"Why are you being like this?" the substitute demanded fighting back and pulling him round with his shoulder ignoring the indignity it gave the Captain "what's wrong with you? I know you're self-contained, but this is too much. I've never seen you so secretive…" he trailed off his hand still gripping to Toshiro's shoulder, a thought occurred to him and he mused out loud "maybe that's because you've never had a secret before" he watched the Captain lift a hand as if to smack his hold away, but for some reason Toshiro stopped his hand half risen.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed as he tried to read the expression on the Captain's face; slowly he released his grip on Toshiro's shoulder and withdrew his hand calmly, all the while trying to reach out to Toshiro, silently, promising complete trust.

"What is it, Toshiro? Are you in danger? Trouble? Is someone after you? Is it something to do with Kusaka? What's wrong with-"

"So many questions" Toshiro replied quietly "anyone would think you had the right to ask all of them"

"As your friend I do have that right"

Toshiro's face hardened and he said frostily "I never invited you to be my friend"

Ichigo sighed heavily and ignored the harsh tone, instead he answered "whether you're my friend or not is beside the point, the fact is I'm your friend, and if there's something troubling you then I want to know what that is"

"If you are my friend then you should respect my privacy"

Ichigo growled in frustration "dammit, Toshiro! Just get off your high horse already, I'm trying to help you here!"

"I don't need your help"

Contrary to Toshiro's expectations, Ichigo did not rise to his less than welcoming tones; in its place he frowned suddenly and gave the Captain a questioning look "but do you want it?"

Toshiro's eyes widened, reflex had him inch his shoulder away from Ichigo's touch; for a second time the substitute had surprised him and he asked defensively "what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it suddenly dawns on me that if you didn't want my help you would have sent me packing by now. But here I am, still arguing with you"

"You're still here arguing with me because you're stubborn" Toshiro answered recovering his composure "but, as I have just said, I don't need your help"

"That I don't doubt" Ichigo agreed "but there's a difference between need and want. True, you don't need my help, but that doesn't stop you wanting it" he stopped, waiting for a response, but Toshiro simply stood there silently "well?" Ichigo prompted, "do you want my help?"

"Why should I want anything from you? You're a substitute"

"Exactly, I'm the guy who doesn't belong to the Seireitei. I'm not following orders and I haven't signed any stupid contract that commands I rat on you, I don't agree with everything Yamamoto does and says, and I don't have to follow his protocol"

"It's official Seireitei business" Toshiro stated firmly "none of your concern…even if it was, you wouldn't understand"

The brown eyes met Toshiro's once more, Ichigo looked at him with a hard glare "so make me understand" he said "whatever it is I won't judge you, I won't tell anyone, you can trust me"

Toshiro was once again silent for a long time; at first it looked as if he would say something that showed to Ichigo the redhead had finally broken through the wall, but then the blue eyes looked away and his mouth tightened. It was all about control, self control; he'd slipped up recently, grown weak and because of that it had placed the whole of the Seireitei, never mind the balance of creation, at risk. It was time he sucked it up and hardened his heart once more; he'd managed it successfully for years, and he could achieve it once more. It was all about self-control.

It drove Ichigo crazy.

"Just WHAT is your problem?" he snapped angrily "is it because you _don't _trust me! Is that why you won't tell me!"

"Kurosaki, if I didn't trust you then you'd be dead by now"

"Then what is it?"

"Why do you even want to know? It's nothing-"

"Because it's bothering you" the substitute interrupted abruptly "and when something bothers you it means it's something serious, so stop acting like a uptight jackass and tell me what's going on!"

Instead of flaring up at the insult Toshiro released a long sigh and Ichigo saw that the look on his face was one of exhaustion; the Captain shook his head slowly "don't you ever give up?" he asked defeated at last.

"Never" replied Ichigo with the hint of a fierce smile "you should know that by now, Toshiro"

"Call me Captain," retorted the Soul Reaper as he turned back to face the redhead; he looked Ichigo up and down in a brief glance and folded his arms "I can trust you"

It wasn't a question, nor a declaration but a statement, one that Ichigo nodded to in a positive gesture.

And finally Toshiro relented "I suppose there is the fact that you took a suicidal mission to save a girl you barely knew, it was crazy but at least it shows an element of trustworthiness in you"

"How can it have been suicidal if I'm still alive?" asked Ichigo cockily.

Toshiro ignored this and turned to the wall of cliff that towered up behind them; he drew closer to it counting his steps softly as he went with Ichigo following him eagerly.

"So, are you going to tell me the reason you're down here?"

"Only if you shut up and let me concentrate"

The redhead rolled his eyes skyward but didn't stay the small smile of satisfaction and amusement; he'd never had to work so hard at anyone's trust before, sometimes he questioned himself as to whether it was actually worth it.

On reaching the wall Toshiro concentrated for a quick moment, before placing his hand palm down against the cliff side and counting to the left three steps. Counting again he rested both hands against the wall and muttered the brief incantation of the attacks and commands Ichigo had never learnt, or ever had the inclination to do so.

But as Toshiro whispered a light shone out brighter and brighter, until there was nothing but light in Ichigo's eyes; then it died, suddenly and silently, leaving a hole in the cliff wall big enough for Toshiro to place his hand in to. But before he went any further he looked back at the substitute.

"If anyone were to find out about this we'd both be dead"

"You know you can trust me" Ichigo replied.

For one last brief pause Toshiro hesitated, and then stepped back; peering in Ichigo's eyes were met by a dim golden glow that filled the deep hole Toshiro had hidden away. His brown eyes growing accustomed to the change in light Ichigo was now able to make out a shape right at the back of the deep gouge. It was golden in colour, the hue around it gave the square object an unearthly feel, but in the same heartbeat the sense of purity filled Ichigo like the warm rays of the sun. It was the Ouin.

* * *

And there we go, this is set after the second Bleach movie so I guess it makes sense to bring the Ouin back in somehow, though it's not gonna play a big role or anything. I hope I described it correctly, all I can remember about it is it's yellow and made like a box? Ahh, I need to watch the movie again.

Anywho, please leave a review and tell me what you think. Ouin, bad idea? Good idea?

Thanks for reading!

Kiki


	4. A Captain And His Secret II

So I'm back with a new chapter. It has been a while, longer than I intended actually but what's a girl to do when she gets so totally obsessed with the wonderous perfection of White Collar? I mean, how could I fight a program that has a con artist and an FBI agent working together? If you haven't seen it - WATCH IT!

Anyway, back to Bleach. After MONTHS of waiting for the price of the damn second Bleach movie to come down to an amount that doesn't knock my head off I finally have it speeding its way to me. Which of course means that this little story floated back in to my wee brain.

WARNINGS: None.

Disclaimer: Bleach does not belong to me, nor any of its characters.

Enjoy!

* * *

**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Four: A Captain And His Secret II**

"ARE YOU _INSANE_!"

"Keep your voice down, anyone could be out here" Toshiro retorted mulishly as Ichigo reached in and dragged the Ouin out.

He looked at it more in astonishment than any other reaction, gripping it so hard his knuckles turned white as if he couldn't believe what he held in his hands. Then he looked up at Toshiro "what the hell is going on in that head of yours!" he demanded, "have you completely lost your mind!"

"I have my reasons"

"Like what! You wanted the Ouin for yourself or something!"

"Of course not" Toshiro gave him an angered look and turned away.

"Then what is this?" Ichigo followed him and thrust the Ouin in to his face "Toshiro, what are you THINKING!"

"It's not what it looks like"

"It looks like you've secretly hidden the Ouin in the wall!" the substitute fumed "it looks like you've stolen the Ouin for some crazy reason! Don't tell me, it's some kinda crappy shrine to Kusaka!"

Toshiro shot him a hard glare, his blue eyes flashed, "I only wished to keep the Ouin safe, it's what I was ordered to do"

"So hand it back to the royal family then, that's where it should be!" Ichigo stared at him "what is wrong with you? This isn't you, Toshiro! You don't steal things. Is this about Kusaka? Can't you let go of the Ouin because Kusaka became part of the-"

"Kusaka has nothing to do with this!" Toshiro snapped harder than he meant to, it showed emotion and he was trying to keep a lid on that, something that appeared to be hard to achieve "and I never said I stole it, Yamamoto gave me orders to keep the Ouin safe from sight"

"Ordered?" Ichigo repeated "you mean he told you to hide it in the wall of the _training grounds_?"

"No, you _fool_, Yamamoto asked me to hide away the Ouin, he doesn't know where I've placed it"

"But why? I don't get it, I thought it was the job of the royal family to keep it safe"

"They asked that we kept it" Toshiro replied with a sigh "since the Ouin's power was released, groups and organizations have made attempts on it, trying to steal it from where it was kept, they need to keep it safe, so they asked the Seireitei"

"And Yamamoto asked you?"

"I wouldn't use the word ask"

"He ordered you to do it" Ichigo frowned "but others know about it, right? I mean, you weren't the only Captain he told?"

"Yes, I was, is that a problem?" the defensive edge to Toshiro's voice had returned, but this time it told Ichigo that the Captain knew what he was thinking, and Toshiro knew what Ichigo was thinking because he was feeling it himself.

"But that's dangerous" the substitute protested "if you're the only one in the whole of the Seireitei who knows where the Ouin is then you're the one the bad guys will come after"

"There is that possibility" the Captain agreed.

"But…" said Ichigo again "that's not right! That puts you in danger, and there's no one else to help you"

"One, I don't need anyone's _help_" Toshiro replied stiffly "and two, you now know, so if anyone comes after me I can just as easily send them in your direction"

"Stop messing around, I'm being serious here!"

"So am I. Ridding myself of you would solve more than one problem"

"Toshiro-"

"_Captain _Hitsugaya"

"Look, I'm not playing your game!" Ichigo snapped "some of these people are dangerous, they'd kill you without a second glance!"

"Believe it or not, I can protect myself just fine"

"That's not the point! Yamamoto shouldn't be sending his Captain in alone, not with something so important as the Ouin! I don't understand why you can't see that!"

"I can see it" Toshiro answered "but orders are orders and there's nothing I can do about it" he looked back at the substitute his blue eyes devoid of any emotion or defiance, instead he only blinked when Ichigo spluttered.

"Why are you being so calm about this?"

"Why are you being so uptight?" the Captain retorted.

"Because the Ouin is a powerful thing that will have a lot of attraction, Yamamoto needs more than one Captain on this, surely you see that!"

"It is not my place to question the judgement of the Head Captain"

"And it's not his place to send you in to something that could very well get you killed!"

"I thank you for your vote of confidence"

"Don't be like that, you know what I mean! He shouldn't be leaving the sole responsibility of the Ouin to you, it's not fair!"

"Fair doesn't come in to it, I was given orders and I must follow them"

"But why you?" Ichigo persisted "surely Soi Fon would be the better choice, she is head of-"

"The Head Captain chose me" Toshiro interrupted coldly "if I knew how much you questioned my skills then I wouldn't have bothered showing you the Ouin at all"

"Don't twist my words" Ichigo said patiently "I know you're a great Captain and you know I know it, I only meant why would Yamamoto choose you?"

At first the insulted expression on Toshiro's face remained for a moment; this would have concerned Ichigo if it weren't for the fact that he was constantly insulting the Captain over something, he knew a few seconds down the line Toshiro would simmer somewhat and only give a scathing remark that would have Ichigo bristling. That was how they worked. But what did concern Ichigo was that, when Toshiro realised there was no point in acting insulted, instead of his usual cocky retort his face only relaxed in to a sigh and a shake of his head.

"Are you really this dense?" asked the Captain softly.

Now it was Ichigo's turn to be insulted "what's that supposed to mean!" he scowled hands on his hips "I'm only trying to understand!"

"You really don't get it, do you?" Toshiro had the effrontery to be somewhat amused by this, though his smile was only the touch of a smirk "just don't go in to politics whatever you do, Kurosaki, you wouldn't last five minutes"

"HEY, stop mocking me!" Ichigo growled irritably "and stop being so elusive, it's pissing me off!"

"Fine, you want me to be blunt" Toshiro made a noise that could have been compared to a snort of laughter, except there was now no humour in his voice and no mirth in his eyes "Yamamoto chose me not because he believed I was the best Captain for the job but because I _failed_"

Up until then Toshiro had been in complete control of his emotions and reactions despite Ichigo's uncanny skill of getting under his skin; but his strong restraint wavered disconcertedly when Ichigo looked at him in surprise. The substitute gazed at him confusion covering his face like a blanket; then his expression cleared as he realised what it was the Captain was referring to.

"Toshiro, you didn't fail anything" he replied quieter than before, his annoyance softened by comprehension.

"Yes, I did" Toshiro folded his arms and his jaw tightened "it was my duty to escort the Ouin from one guarded place to another and I failed, spectacularly"

"But you went after it" the substitute reminded him.

"I left my post" Toshiro corrected, "I abandoned my Squad and disobeyed orders"

"Yeah, to go _after _the Ouin"

"No" Toshiro's expression dropped to the ground "I left my post to go after Kusaka, not to retrieve the Ouin"

"But Kusaka had the Ouin" Ichigo pointed out.

"I was not thinking of the Ouin" the ice Captain replied "I was thinking of Kusaka, had I been thinking of the Ouin I would have returned to my Squad"

"But you got the Ouin back" Ichigo said defiantly "it doesn't matter why you left, you retrieved the Ouin"

"And it doesn't matter that I did retrieve the Ouin, not where Yamamoto is concerned!" Toshiro snapped heatedly, then he realised he'd spoken too loud and he recomposed himself, taking a deep long breath before continuing "in Yamamoto's eyes I failed, and because of that I no longer have his trust-"

"But-"

"Let me finish" the Captain lowered his gaze to the floor though his jaw remained hard "since then my Squad's duties have been limited to nothing more than paperwork, documenting reports and other menial chores that the other Squads don't want, because of me they've lost their pride and their status"

"That's not true" Ichigo shook his head with a sigh and said, "it's crazy"

"To you maybe, but I need to prove to Yamamoto that I'm still a good Captain, only that way will he return my Squad to its original position"

"But you don't need to prove anything to anyone" the substitute repeated in a hard voice "Yamamoto's a fool if he thinks anything else"

"Coming from a substitute that is not a good compliment no matter the good faith"

Ichigo rolled his eyes "just shut up and take it as a compliment, would ya?" looking back at the Ouin one last time he felt the raw pure power of it pulse through his hand. It was tempting; it would be tempting to anyone who knew the meaning of power. But Ichigo didn't want it. There were things in the world that he wanted more than raw power; his family, his friends, they were so much more important than any throbbing power enticing as it was. Closing his hand round the Ouin he looked up and found blue eyes staring at him.

"What?"

The Captain shook his head in response "I knew you wouldn't understand, now you know why I wasn't keen to tell you"

"I _do_ understand…I understand that Yamamoto is a hard-ass bastard who would use you as a scapegoat if anything happened to the Ouin, what I don't understand is why you're letting him"

"He's the Head Captain, I'm his subordinate, I don't have much of a choice"

"Is that really the only reason?"

Toshiro was taken aback "what's that supposed to mean? What other reason could there be?"

"That you're letting your pride get the better of you" Ichigo replied staring down at the younger Captain "you want your status back so you're letting Yamamoto walk all over you"

"And what else would you have me do?" a dark shadow passed over Toshiro's face "disobey him?"

"No, but if someone finds out where the Ouin is then you'll be the only one that's blamed, that's after someone's tortured you to within an inch of your life to discover where you've put the damn thing" the substitute branded the Ouin back in to Toshiro's face "it's crazy, Toshiro, and it's not like you to let people use you as their puppet"

The Captain bristled accordingly "I don't appreciate being referred to as a puppet"

"A puppet is a good comparison for you right now" Ichigo replied sharply "what happened to the Toshiro who didn't suffer nonsense from anyone?"

"You seem to be suggesting that I refuse Yamamoto's bidding"

"No, I'm just saying that you should tell him that it's not a good idea for you to be doing this by yourself, it's not safe, what if Aizen hears about the Ouin and decides to come after it?"

That was Ichigo's second mistake; his first mistake was to forget Toshiro Hitsugaya's almost obsessive hatred for the traitor Squad Five Captain. The blue teal eyes darkened in to a deep prolonged look of loathing, one so murderous and dark that for one brief moment Ichigo forgot whom he was talking to and thought he was staring in to the face of Kenpachi.

"I live in hope that Aizen hears of the Ouin and comes for it, that's just one more reason for me to kill him" Toshiro's voice had dropped in to a low growl of poison, his intent was clear "and if Aizen did bleed out of the woodwork, then I wouldn't tell anyone, _I'd kill him first_"

Ichigo held up his hands "alright, Aizen was a bad example, I should have remembered the mention Aizen is enough to make you forget your senses"

Toshiro glared at him but said no more as Ichigo felt the sudden chill of icy air wrap around him like a tightening cover that filled his mouth and stung his eyes. He pursed his lips and sighed irritably, releasing a cloud of hot breath from his mouth; he folded his arms and looked impatiently at the Captain who had turned his head away.

"You mind? I'm freezing over"

"You deserve it" Toshiro retorted.

"So I called you a puppet with anger management issues who's allowing himself to be used as a stumpy scapegoat that will be thrown in to shame and dishonour that will forever destroy him when he fails to protect the Ouin safely, it's not that bad"

Hitsugaya breathed fire "Stumpy!"

Ichigo quirked an eyebrow with a smirk "isn't it interesting that, out of all those insults, it was the height reference you picked up on, you got some real issues, you know that right"

Toshiro's mouth opened; for a moment he looked stunned in to speechlessness, he struggled to keep his control and come back with a worthy insult that would have Ichigo spitting. He was further rattled when Ichigo had the disgrace to smirk at him, arms folded, and a great deal of smugness about his face. Toshiro growled- then dropped his shoulders "you're impossible" he grumbled tetchily.

"You're only saying that because you know I'm right" Ichigo replied.

"Enjoy the feeling while you can, it won't last long"

The substitute ignored this with the grit of his teeth "you admit I'm right then" he pressed.

"I admit nothing," Toshiro said holding out his hand expectantly "as far as I'm concerned my Head Captain gave me an order and I am more than capable of handling the situation without help"

Ichigo pushed the Ouin forwards ready for the Captain to take but when Toshiro's hand closed round it he held on tighter refusing to release his grip; Toshiro's blue eyes snapped up quickly, his fingers clung fast his gaze.

"If you're so capable of doing this job then why did you show me?" asked the substitute.

"Kurosaki, let go of the Ouin"

"Not until you tell me"

"You're not getting an answer"

"It's a reasonable enough question, Toshiro, I can't imagine Yamamoto will be thrilled if he finds out about this"

"That's for me to deal with" then Toshiro glared "and I keep telling you to call me _Captain_!"

"Why did you show me the Ouin?" Ichigo asked again clasping on to the Ouin harder, Toshiro looked ready to reach for his Zanpakuto "just answer me"

"What other choice did I have?" the Captain answered with irritation "if I hadn't shown you then I wouldn't have heard the end of it"

"So it had nothing to do with the fact that you wanted someone else to know? Are you sure about that?"

"Uh, why would I tell anyone else?"

"For safety purposes, if anything happened to you then someone else would know where the Ouin was and protect it. Except that Yamamoto wants you to do this alone and so I'm the only choice you had"

"I had no intention of telling you or anyone"

"Really?" Ichigo narrowed his eyes and pulled the Ouin back "you seriously expecting me to believe that you didn't know I was watching you clamber out of your bedroom window? I know you better than that, and you knew I was there, you knew I would follow you"

"Despite what you think, I knew nothing of the sort. Had I known you were there I would have headed you off"

Ichigo looked at him further, studying the blue eyes that looked back icily; Toshiro's hand was floating in the air, just itching to retrieve the Ouin, but Ichigo wasn't prepared to give up so easily "nah, I'm not buying that, you knew I was there"

"I promise you, I didn't"

"Fine, why didn't you notice I was there?"

"I was preoccupied by other things"

"I don't believe you"

"So now you're calling me a liar?" Toshiro withdrew his hand temporarily "you're full of it tonight, aren't you, Kurosaki? Is there anything else you'd like to accuse me of?"

Instead of the irritation that Toshiro was expecting, Ichigo only let a small smile of amusement pass his features; he shook his head and looked down at the Ouin still in his hand "you know, I never classed you as a player, but I'll admit, you really played me tonight"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"No? So why did you let me follow you tonight? Why did you show me the Ouin? Hell, why did you even let me stay at the Squad Ten Barracks?" he grinned wider "and I fell for it, hook, line and sinker"

Toshiro rolled his eyes; he folded his arms stubbornly "what are you babbling on about? I only let you stay with Squad Ten because I was in your debt, you allowed me to stay in your home when I was injured and I had to repay you"

"Yeah, that's what I thought" Ichigo couldn't control it, he bubbled with sniggers "right up until I realised that you'd known I saw climb out of your bedroom window"

"As I said before, I didn't know you were- _stop laughing_!" the Captain snarled "if I have played you as you say then I fail to see the humour of the situation, most would be insulted"

"I can't help it!" the substitute guffawed helplessly "I can't believe I've just been duped by someone so short!"

"_W-What's my size got to do with anything_!" the Captain spluttered irately.

"It's nothing- except that I've battled with Captains twice my size, hollows, evil insane creeps with stronger power than me, crazy Soul Reapers, Quincies, Arrancars and I get tricked by someone a head shorter than me!" he laughed again, louder, only breaking out again when he caught the sour expression on the Captain's face.

"And that's…_funny_, is it?"

"You gotta admit, there's a kinda irony to it"

"Just give me the damn Ouin!" snapped Toshiro swiping it from the substitute's hand in one quick movement, glowering at the hilarity still splashed across Ichigo's face "I don't know why I put up with you in the first place!"

He turned from the substitute to the wall where the gaping hole was blacker than the cliff side around it; pushing the Ouin deep in to the wall he pointedly ignored Ichigo who had broken in to bursts of laughter again as soon as he'd realised how low down in the wall the Ouin was hidden. Placing his palm flat against the gap he murmured a few chosen words, the air lighting up in to a glow around his hand as he spoke; the air grew cold and ice began to form over the hole black as the cliff itself and almost invisible to the eye.

Once finished he pressed his fingers to the ice oblivious to the cold touch and satisfied himself that the Ouin was once again secure and safe; his job done for the night he turned back to the substitute who had sobered up somewhat.

"I suppose I should take it as a compliment that you trust me enough to show me the Ouin" he said coming to stand next to the Captain and admiring the black ice which he could only see because he knew it was there "I know you're not the most trusting of Soul Reapers"

"I think I have enough reason to be suspicious of those I don't know" Toshiro answered quickly.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I don't blame you" Ichigo said still gazing at the patch of unseen ice, he reached out a hand to brush his fingers over the smooth surface and found he could feel nothing of the Ouin's power behind the guard "Kusaka probably isn't the best example of a friend one could get, he did try to kill us all after all"

"My trust in you has nothing to do with Kusaka"

"Then what does it have to do with?"

"Rukia Kuchiki"

"Huh? Rukia? How come?"

"You risked your life to cross the Seireitei to save the life of girl you barely knew" the Captain elaborated "that implies a great deal of insanity and stupidity, but it does convey a certain amount of reliability"

"I guess I should take that as another compliment" Ichigo said resignedly "though you still managed to make me in to a fool"

"That's because you are a fool" Toshiro retorted "getting yourself involved in things that are none of your concern is going to get you killed one day" he glanced sideways at the substitute "but at least I can trust you"

"What if you couldn't?" asked the substitute "what would you have done if you couldn't trust me?"

"I would have killed you" said the Captain simply.

Ichigo swallowed and clutched his throat, the tone in Toshiro's voice suddenly had him feeling _very _mortal "yeah, I thought you might something like that" he gave a rather weak grin.

"I should go" Toshiro turned from the wall and retrieved his Zanpakuto "Rangiku may be a deep sleeper, but she will have felt my spiritual pressure"

"Hey, wait a minute! You're just gonna leave it like that!"

Toshiro turned back "it's safely secure" he replied.

"But all you've done is hidden the Ouin behind a little bit of ice! That's not gonna protect it! What happens if the ice melts?"

"What happens if the ice melts?" Toshiro repeated, he lifted his eyebrows in disbelief "you honestly think I'm that stupid?"

"I don't know…are you?"

"I wouldn't leave the Ouin behind a simple piece of ice!" the Captain snapped very much irked by the stupidity of the substitute.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news" Ichigo replied pointing at the wall "but you just did"

"IT'S NOT ODRINARY ICE, YOU MORON!"

"It isn't?"

"The ice is the physical form of my spiritual pressure! The only way to break it is to kill me and- why are you laughing!"

"Haha! You really are too easy to wind up, you know" Ichigo clapped him on the shoulder ignoring the flinch of the Captain "you make me look all laid back"

"Oh shut up!" Toshiro snapped.

Around them the temperature dropped several degrees, a mist floated up in clouds around their feet and it took Ichigo a moment to realise that in the heat of the moment Toshiro had lost control. Now the young Captain stood there arms folded face intense as around him the air sparkled with icy particles that clung to Ichigo's skin. Instead of pacifying the substitute it only made him grin more.

Toshiro scowled darkly but decided it wasn't worth his patience to bother with the mocking, so he asked in indifferent tones though his body sharpened visibly "now you know about the Ouin, I presume I can trust you to keep your mouth shut"

Ichigo stopped laughing at him and nodded only once "do you even have to ask?"

Toshiro watched him for a moment longer before his white head turned away and he stood his back to Ichigo and his haori rippling in the wind that gently pushed through the training grounds. He paused longer, as if hesitating thinking as if he were about to say something; he even turned back to look at the substitute.

But turned away again and in the blink of an eye he was gone, the rush of air the only sign he'd ever been; Ichigo sighed heavily again and his shoulders sagged. Shaking his head he scratched the back of his neck in bewilderment.

Then he looked to the cliff wall; even from where he stood, so close to something so powerful, he couldn't feel it. The wind ruffled his bright hair and he tried to search for the small patch of ice that was invisible to the naked eye; still it bothered him to think that Toshiro was allowing Yamamoto to rule him so, it felt strange when he knew Toshiro was so independent, commanding and self reliant. But now Yamamoto had the threat of demotion over Hitsugaya's head and Toshiro was rolling over like a little puppy.

Did his Captaincy really mean that much to him?

Dragging a hand through his hair Ichigo yawned widely, the late of the night finally capturing up on him "I don't get that guy"

* * *

And there ya go! Off to make another chapter now, hopefully Human for those who have requested it.

Please leave a review.

Thanks for reading!

Kiki

Kizzes!


	5. Upwards Fall Of A Commander

Ok so it's been quite a while since I last updated this story, been a little busy what with being ill, and other stories and a lot of other crap that I can't actually remember at this stage.

I also lost my inspiration for this story, having no idea where I wanted it to go...or rather, I do know where I want the story to go...I just didn't know how to get there. But after some thought, a couple viewings of Bleach Movie 2, and then movie 3 which I didn't enjoy nearly as much, I now know how to reach my desination and arrive at Ichigo/Toshiro love!

You know, I didn't find the 3rd Bleach movie nearly as good as the others, the whole memory loss part was kinda interesting but basically it was just the same storyline as movie 2 just with different characters. They didn't focus enough on the relationship between Ichigo and Rukia, and they barely grazed on the fact that both Byakuya and Renji forgot who Rukia was which, lets be frank, is a pretty big deal for those guys.

Anyway, that is my humble opinion on the matter and this story has nothing to do with the 3rd Bleach movie whatsoever, I just like typing. :)

WARNINGS: Can't think of any specific. Bad grammar, or spelling mistakes? Maybe.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.

* * *

**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Five: Upwards Fall Of A Commander**

"The Squads of the Thirteen Guard have become lax at best and irresponsible at worst" Yamamoto's voice rang out loud and clear throughout the large hall. Beside him his silent Lieutenant stood calmly watching the group of Captains that stood in two rows looking back at the huge form that was their Head Captain "each Squad I am displeased to say have revealed certain aspects of their conduct that I find disappointing"

He gave the room of Captains an expectant look as if he was waited for some form of verbal reaction; when no one spoke his face darkened in to a narrow eyed glare and his tiny pupils swept the room in search of a victim. His gaze rested on the smallest of the Captains, the youngest, and his jaw hardened as Squad Ten Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya's conduct recalled to him with alarming clarity.

"Captain Hitsugaya, you are not remiss from my belief, your Lieutenant Matsumoto for example is frequently seen crawling along the street in a half stupor drunk on more sake than ten Soul Reapers can handle in a week"

Toshiro's eyebrows dipped; he knew he was being targeted, but he refused to give any reaction that would enflame the Head Captain any further. However, Yamamoto had a point; on many occasion Toshiro himself had remonstrated a drunken and deliriously happy Rangiku who had laughed herself in to hysteria and then dropped unceremoniously on the office sofa to sober up.

"Have you nothing to say to this statement?" Yamamoto asked in a hard voice, his piercing stare cut through the Captains and Mayuri moved aside so he was not in the line of fire.

Toshiro's lips pursed but there was no way in which he could avoid a personal confrontation; Yamamoto had singled him out, there was no escape. Beside him Ukitake stirred restlessly; a soft frown had darkened his face as he stared at their leader, his pale features were marred with indignation and he looked ready to protest. Not willing to start a bickering match between a group of old men who had nothing better to do, Toshiro stepped forward willingly.

"I do not deny that my Lieutenant has, on occasion, over stepped the mark referring to her intake of alcohol" he kept his voice level, quiet and reserved, nothing Yamamoto could react to "however neither can I refuse the fact that Lieutenant Matsumoto has given me complete loyalty, and I have never once doubted her"

"But you cannot forget the fact that one more than one time your Lieutenant has been lax and ineffective at her duties"

Toshiro had been wrong; Yamamoto could react to his detached voice, clearly the young Captain had underestimated Yamamoto's feelings. He was puzzled by this. Had he really disappointed Yamamoto this seriously? He had retrieved the Ouin; he even had it safe and protected, though admittedly not in the most professional of ways. He had been cleared of all charges, Yamamoto had himself cleared him of said crimes. And yet the same Head Captain stood there with the stern unreadable expression that pinned Toshiro to the wall.

"In my opinion that does not over balance her loyalty and years of servitude to the Seireitei"

"If I may but speak, Head Captain, I see no reason to penalise Captain Hitsugaya for the sometimes indulgent habits of his Lieutenant" Ukitake put in; he coughed, holding his fist up to his mouth as the dry rasping sound filled the large hall before he continued "I would have thought that a Lieutenant had the right to speak up for themselves, and were not the sole responsibility of their Captains"

"That is indeed correct" Yamamoto admitted "however that does not condone Captain Hitsugaya's tolerance of her behaviour, and may I point out at this time that I do not only penalise him, but I refer to you all" he turned his head, his long white strangling beard dragging on his long draping haori "your Lieutenant is also something to be desired, Captain Kuchiki, he can at times be wild and disobedient"

Byakuya stood silently and uninterested in the whole conversation around him; for a moment it looked like he would not answer the Head Captain, but manner decreed that an accusation was to be answered "he comes from the rukon district, he is not trained in the ways of the social classes above him"

"And I suppose you are" Kenpachi drawled with a wide grin that covered his face "no doubt Lieutenant Abarai is wild, with you as a Captain he's probably going crazy with the complete lack of reaction in you"

"Whereas your Lieutenant has all her senses completely intact" replied Byakuya calmly.

Kenpachi's face screwed up in to an ugly leer "and just what exactly are you suggesting, Captain Kuchiki?"

"That you should consider your own Lieutenant before dismissing mine"

"Uh, not again" Toshiro muttered under his breath "every time we meet it ends up like this, old men bickering with each other over nothing"

"Oh that's rich coming from a Captain that not so long ago was prepared to let his own sister die" Kenpachi growled "you might as well have run her through with your Zanpakuto" Byakuya said nothing and when he didn't even look at Kenpachi it only infuriated the Captain of Squad Eleven more "hey, look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Why would I look at someone so unrefined and undignified as the Captain of Squad Eleven who came from a background so squalid with blood the smell of it still haunts the barracks from whence you appeared"

"THAT IS ENOUGH" Yamamoto intervened as Kenpachi leapt forward his weapon ripping forward in a vicious attack "you are Captains, not unranked officers, and I called you here to decree that standards have been slipping and that things will be changed, otherwise positions and ranks will be withdrawn"

The room fell silent; other Captains who had been on the verge of speaking shut their mouths with a snap, Captaincy was important to all of them. It was a hard long journey to reach to the top and none of them wanted the unpleasant trip back to the bottom of the pile; Toshiro thought about his Captaincy with a darkened gloom. Was it really on the line these days? He felt it was; he couldn't quite rid himself of the unnerving thought that, if he failed to protect the Ouin a second time, he wouldn't just lose his Captaincy but also any other ranking he might possess. He'd be back in the dirt of the Soul Society before he could even blink.

He didn't want that. It was his worst nightmare; that was why he was being an obedient puppy, why he would obey the Head Captain's every command. His Captaincy was his life, it meant everything; he couldn't lose it now. Of course he'd never get that substitute to understand the importance of it all, Ichigo just didn't think that way. For a moment Toshiro had wondered whether it was a good idea to allow the idiot to stay in his barracks at all; it was hardly appropriate behaviour to welcome someone who had caused so much havoc to anyone around him. But surely Captain Yamamoto would not cut him down for that…he hadn't said anything, though his opinion of the substitute was well known for being negative.

This was all irrelevant, however; the fact remained that Toshiro Hitsugaya felt he owed a gratitude of debt to Ichigo, and his pride would not allow him to be in the debt of another…let alone to be in the debt of someone as lowly as a substitute Soul Reaper.

That would be the self same Soul Reaper that had called himself Toshiro's friend; he'd never had many friends before, his talents or rank had always been in the way. Kusaka had been the last true person he'd considered a real friend and now Ichigo was claiming to also be one…Toshiro wasn't sure if he wanted friendship. That sort of emotion led to trouble and it was a Soul Reaper's first duty to repress any feelings of such things from the first moment of training. This path could only lead to trouble.

* * *

"Kurosaki, isn't there someone else you could annoy?" Toshiro asked impatiently as he looked up from his desk for the third time to find that his unwelcome guest had now started to amuse himself by counting all the books lined up on Toshiro's shelves.

Toshiro kept many books; this would take the substitute some time Ichigo had noticed, not that it really mattered because, as he had been reminded so frequently, he had nothing else to do any time soon. He sighed and broke off at thirty-seven.

"Everyone is busy"

Toshiro snorted, "I find that difficult to believe, no one from Squad Eleven has ever heard of the word work"

"That's true" the substitute agreed "but I get the nasty feeling that if I go over there I'm going to be challenged to an all on one battle with the entire squad"

"Is that really a problem?" asked Toshiro slightly coldly.

"You may not care, but I'd rather return home in one piece"

"I'm sure the Seireitei would pay for any hospital bills you would incur"

"Thanks a lot" Ichigo returned to his book counting.

Irritably, the young Captain looked down at the papers in front of him and found himself rereading the last three lines to regain his lost train of thought; the flow of writing wasn't as fluid as the norm, especially in light of the fact that this paperwork should have been completed by Rangiku at least two weeks ago. Toshiro couldn't believe he'd overlooked this and could only surmise that his time spent in Squad Four had been nothing short of a row of drunken nights for Rangiku. The Soul Reaper frowned and the words of his Head Captain came back to haunt him; Rangiku had been called lax, and, while Toshiro didn't all together disagree with that statement, it didn't detract from his belief in his Lieutenant's loyalty.

But the Head Captain had picked him out; in spite of the numerous other examples that could have been used, Toshiro Hitsugaya had been the one chosen to be embarrassed. What did that mean? That Yamamoto was still angry? Did the Head Captain truly believe the tenth Lieutenant was that out of control? What did that imply of Toshiro? That he was weak? Unable to command? Or worst of all, lax in his own approach to the control of the Squad?

It made Toshiro shudder at the mere thought; to think that he was thought a weak, incompetent Captain…no, he couldn't even think of it. His grip tightened on his pen trying to rid his mind of the thought but like all the thoughts that ran through his head, the more he tried to avoid the more it printed itself behind his eyes. This was worst than he'd imagined; he'd known he'd have to regain the trust of the Head Captain and the other Captains of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads, but to doubt his own position himself…

Not that he doubted himself. He shook his head hard, ridding himself of the notion; to doubt himself was handing the baton of the Captaincy over right there and then, if that's how he felt really then there was no longer any point in continuing this paperwork.

Paperwork that should have been completed two weeks ago by his Lieutenant.

A subordinate he'd failed to control; he hadn't even been able to persuade her in to completing her own paperwork, and here he was writing it up himself. What did that say about him as a Captain?

Of course, before now, he hadn't given it a second thought; the paperwork needed to be done and it was easier to do it himself rather than badgering a reluctant Rangiku to do it. And it wasn't as if she _never_ did the paperwork; credit where credit was due, Rangiku always completed the most important reports and her information was always accurate. But all of a sudden that didn't seem enough; he frowned at his office door noting the complete absence of his Lieutenant, he'd defended her against the Head Captain, but where was she now?

"Hey, Toshiro"

Toshiro's head snapped up from his work "Captain Hitsugaya" he corrected, more out of habit than anything else.

"Yeah, that too" Ichigo agreed leaning over the back of the sofa to look at the white headed Soul Reaper "is it normal for the gates to the World of the Living to so easily blocked?"

"It's never happened before" Toshiro replied "but the Ouin is powerful, and no one is really aware of what its power is capable of. What we saw was only a mere example of what it can achieve"

"I don't suppose there's any point in asking why it exists in the first place?"

"Objects of power exist wherever one goes, the same is true for the World of the Living as well as it is here"

"I guess" Ichigo looked back at his books "but to seal off all contact to the World of the Living, something like that must be pretty disastrous for a place that works to give souls passage to the other side"

"That is not my area of expertise and having no squad members in the World of the Living at this time, it's none of my concern"

"But aren't you worried that the balance of the world might be upset?" asked Ichigo "the balance of the universe is after all kinda important"

"True, but seeing as Head Captain Yamamoto hasn't seen fit to discuss the matter with me I can give you no opinion on the matter" Toshiro looked down at his work, he'd lost track of his report again "besides, I have other matters to consider as you are aware"

"Hmm" Ichigo mused.

He still wasn't happy about the situation, but if he told anyone Toshiro would slit his throat without second thought. He still couldn't figure out whether Toshiro had shown him the Ouin to add further protection to the Ouin or for some other reason Ichigo hadn't thought of; he glanced back at the Captain who had returned to his work and continued to write as if he hadn't spoken, the frown lines marring Toshiro's forehead were easy to see. He'd been like that since he'd returned from the Captains meeting.

Ichigo decided to be brave "hey, is everything ok with you?"

"Is there any reason to think otherwise?"

Questioned answered by another question: never a good sign in Ichigo's book; he shrugged "I don't know, you seem…tense"

"Nothing that you need concern yourself with"

"So there is something wrong"

"I'm in a little pain, that is all, from the injury Kusaka gave me"

"There's this invention called a painkiller…" suggested the substitute.

"It is not vicious enough to warrant drugs"

"You sure it's the only thing bothering you?"

"Why would there be anything else?"

"Is it the Ouin?"

"The Ouin is perfectly safe, I have no need to worry about it"

"Alright then, are you thinking about Kusaka?"

"Why would I be thinking about him of all people? In case you hadn't notice, I am busy at present"

"Doesn't mean you're not going to think about the guy who was your best friend" reasoned Ichigo "I would if he was my friend"

"Then you must be more of a friend to Kusaka than I" Toshiro returned shortly "you're thinking of him more than me"

"Come on, don't play this game with me" Ichigo chided him gently "something's bugging you, what is it?"

"I fail to see why you're so interested" Toshiro sighed as he shuffled the papers in front of him in to a neater pile, standing them on their edge and tapping them straight "even if there was something wrong, I don't see how you could help"

"A problem shared is a problem halved"

"Yes, I expect it would be if the problem was a cake, or a bottle of sake" there was a crash from outside the office and a small flurry of voices quickly shushed as the door of the Captain's office was pointed out "talking of which" Toshiro glanced at the time "I wonder where Rangiku got to"

"She said something about handing a report to Renji"

Toshiro snorted, "is that her excuse"

"I don't think it was an excuse to escape the office" the substitute answered "she took a wedge of papers with her"

"Yes, the wrong ones" the Captain realised as he spotted the report for Squad Six lying on the top of his desk. He sighed and drew the papers to him seeing with some aggravation that none of them had been signed; suspiciously he pushed back another few sheets of paper to his next report and realised none of those had been signed either.

"Anything I can do?" asked Ichigo grunting as he pushed himself from the sofa and wandered over to the desk.

Toshiro pursed his lips "if you're going to be in here then the best thing you can do to help is to sit in the corner silently"

Ichigo rolled his eyes "I've been good, haven't I? It's not as if I was disturbing you or anything, I just spent ages counting the books on your shelves"

"At least I'll know who to turn to if I ever need them catalogued" Toshiro replied coolly taking a sip from his tea and finding the liquid had turned cold and was now quite glutinous.

"Two-hundred and sixty four if you're interested"

"I wasn't"

Ichigo looked around "I don't suppose you've got anything to drink, have you?"

"This is all I have" Toshiro gestured to his cup "though I'm sure Rangiku has some sake hidden somewhere, she usually does. Better yet, why don't you go and find someone to feed you instead of disturbing me?"

Ichigo gave him a scowl "you're supposed to be the host, remember, and you said I wasn't allowed to go wandering about the Squad Barracks without reason"

Toshiro grunted "if you wanted hospitality you should have found somewhere else to stay" he replied haughtily.

"I might yet" grumbled the substitute.

"I hadn't realised Squad Ten sleeping quarters were that uncomfortable"

"It's not the bed I got the problem with, it's the company I'm keeping" Ichigo smirked "I hope you were more polite to Orihime when you stayed at her place"

"Of course, she was the one giving me refuge"

"So if it had been the other way around you wouldn't have been so accommodating?"

Toshiro ignored him; there was movement outside his door and the flurry of feet as Rangiku's voice echoed through the corridor berating some poor squad member about their lack of clean attire, the sloppy way in which they had saluted and the general unkempt of their overall appearance, not to mention the lax in their work and their disregard for their orders complete with a disinterest in the squad.

"She's one to talk" Toshiro muttered.

Having said her piece she therefore proceeded to tell the Soul Reaper that she, the Lieutenant of the Squad, would no longer put up with the wanting motivation or the disrespect towards the superior. From now on, orders were to be listened to at all times.

Toshiro lifted an eyebrow with interest.

The door opened and Rangiku swept in beaming "did you hear all that, Captain, I told him a thing or two!" she grinned at him "no one will call this Squad lax again!"

"Oh that's the reason behind the sudden outburst, is it?" her Captain said testily "may I enquire what crime my Squad member committed to warrant such a lecture and chastisement?"

"He walked straight in to me, Captain, he didn't even look where he was going!"

"Is that all it was" Toshiro sighed, head in his hand "it was probably you who walked in to him in the first place"

"The ghoul didn't even have the courtesy to apologise!" his Lieutenant huffed.

"Never mind that" he replied impatiently "where have you been?"

"I went to give my report to Squad Six" she answered.

"Far be it for me to point out the obvious, but how were you proposing to do that with the report sitting on my desk?"

"I know" she knocked the side of her head "I picked up the wrong report, I only realised that when Renji pointed it out"

"Which report did you take Lieutenant Abarai then?"

"The one for Squad One" Rangiku shrugged and flumped herself on the sofa "in the end I just figured I'd take the report to Lieutenant Sasakibe"

"So that's how you found out about the content of the Captains meeting"

"Hmmm" Rangiku sighed and pushed the hair from her face "for a man of few words, he can sure get his meaning across. I haven't felt so little since Renji told me my bosom wasn't big enough for the beauty competition"

Ichigo's eyes expanded "…not big enough…" he murmured.

Toshiro gave him a scowl before returning to his Lieutenant; naturally, he was used to the various references and frequent gestures she made about her cleavage "what did he say exactly?" he asked Rangiku.

She shrugged "nothing in detail, but you know Sasakibe: the Head Captain's opinion is his opinion, it always has and it always will be" she scowled "he could have at least been a little more gentlemanly about it, instead of giving me that look and shoving the mission on me like that"

Leaning against Toshiro's desk still wondering how Rangiku could not be _big enough_, Ichigo snapped to attention "a mission? What kind of mission?"

Rangiku battled with her clothes for the papers she'd been given "well-"

"That's classified information, Rangiku" Toshiro interrupted her quickly "don't tell him anything"

"Oh come on, I might be able to help"

"Since when did I require _your_ help, Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"If you don't need my help then why did you show-" Ichigo stopped himself just in time and snapped his mouth shut as Toshiro's glare pierced through his heart.

If looks could kill…

He threw him an apologetic look; fortunately Rangiku was too preoccupied with her papers to really take any notice of the glance that passed between her Captain and the substitute. She clambered from the sofa and walked to the desk soberly; presenting the papers to Toshiro she stayed where she was, next to Ichigo, waiting as her Captain turned the papers round and perused through them absently.

"It's something he wants you to deal with personally" the Lieutenant informed the white headed Soul Reaper.

Ichigo straightened from the desk still curious about whatever mission had been given; Toshiro was a Captain, reason and logic told him whatever the mission was it had to be important. It certainly looked like that was what Toshiro was hoping for; it could have meant the Head Captain had seen fit to ease up on his persecution of the young Captain. But the look on Rangiku's face told him otherwise and it was with growing apprehension that they awaited Toshiro's reaction.

Toshiro's huge blue eyes read through the papers quickly and then started back at the beginning to check he had missed nothing; his face was tense and for a moment Ichigo was concerned it had to do with the Ouin. Did Yamamoto want him to move it? Surely the Head Captain wouldn't do that to Toshiro, it wasn't fair.

"Is this it?" the young Soul Reaper asked at length, flipping the pages over to make sure nothing was written on the back "there's nothing more"

"No, that's it" Rangiku replied, a dark look passed over her face.

"And you're sure he wants me to deal with this personally?"

"Lieutenant Sasakibe was very firm on that point"

Toshiro looked back at the papers for a moment frowned darkly; then he placed them on the desk in front of him "I see" he paused a second longer and then looked back at his Lieutenant "Rangiku, would you make the various preparations? We'll leave first thing tomorrow"

"But, Captain-" Rangiku stopped herself when Toshiro continued to stare at her expectantly, his blue eyes deep pools. She relented and grimaced "yes, Captain"

"May I?" Ichigo reached out his hand and looked at Toshiro.

"I see no harm in it" was the reply.

Ichigo slid the paper to him and read the first line; he blinked and then looked back at Toshiro "he wants you to kill a hollow?"

"I'm glad to see your reading skills are up to scratch" said Toshiro cynically.

"But…" Ichigo read the words again "isn't dealing with a hollow something an unranked officer could do?"

"Yes, it is" Rangiku agreed rather harder than was necessary.

"That's enough from you" Toshiro answered sharply "I asked you to get ready, I meant now"

Rangiku hesitated a moment longer and looked unhappily at her superior "Captain, I know it's not for me to say, but this is a mission an unranked officer could complete with ease"

"I said enough" Toshiro gave her a harder look "orders are orders, if Head Captain Yamamoto wants me to kill a hollow then a hollow I will kill, even if it is a mission for a low ranking Soul Reaper"

"Maybe it's a special hollow?" suggested Ichigo "one that is too powerful for the average Soul Reaper"

"No" Rangiku was almost glaring "it's just an average hollow, barely powerful enough to scare a squirrel. I don't know what the Head Captain is thinking, sending us out on a mission like this! It's not the job of a Captain to kill one little hollow!"

"Mind what you say" her Captain reprimanded.

"Aren't you going to fight him on this?" asked the substitute still looking down at the written orders "if this is a job for a Soul Reaper beneath you then why don't you just send one of your Squad out and tell Yamamoto the problem is dealt with?"

"The Head Captain asked that I personally dealt with this"

"But, Toshiro, don't you see he's just pushing you around"

Toshiro stood up with a glare "Rangiku, I gave you an order, get on with it" he turned his attention to Ichigo "and that's enough from you also-"

"But, Toshiro!"

"If the Head Captain has given me an order, then I will obey it" Toshiro spoke in a clear voice "if you have a problem with that, Ichigo Kurosaki, then you can leave the residence of Squad Ten immediately"

Ichigo opened his mouth to say more, but shut it again almost immediately; there was no point in arguing with the young Captain, he would just repeat the same words again. But Ichigo couldn't stand the idea of what Yamamoto was doing, he knew Toshiro didn't like either and sooner or later Toshiro had to see sense "you're being an idiot, Toshiro"

* * *

And there we go. I want to focus on Yamamoto's lack of trust in Toshiro and how that affects him, and I also want to slip in a few hints about Ichigo's complete lack of interest in women which isn't a leap given the fact he's surrounded by all these women and hasn't made one perverted comment...maybe he's just too much of a gentleman ;)

Either way I want Ichigo to start _thinking_ about the fact he's not interested in any women, which will be coming up in the next few chapters...you can see where I'm going with this.

So please leave a review. Give me your thoughts.

Thanks for reading!

Kiki

Kizzes!


	6. The Kiss Of Fingers

**Review Replies  
**Angy: Hey, thanks for the review. Ichigo's sudden realisation that he doesn't have a thing for women starts in this chapter. And I have a reason for making Yamamoto such a prick, anything that brings tension to the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks again!

The Weird Dreamer: Consider the story continued! Thanks for your review!

* * *

So another chapter for this story. I do hope you like! I'm quite pleased with this chapter myself. It hints of things to come.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.

WARNINGS: None. Unless you count bad grammar.

Enjoy!

* * *

**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Six: The Kiss Of Fingers **

"I still fail to understand why you're here," said Toshiro grumpily trailing along as the substitute walked beside him "believe it or not, I'm perfectly capable of bringing down a hollow myself"

"Oh come on, Captain" Rangiku paused ahead of him and grinned over her shoulder "you want Ichigo here and you know it"

"That's another thing" Toshiro complained "why are you here? I believe the Head Captain's orders were for me, not you"

"I'm worried about you" his lieutenant replied breezily as they caught up.

"Considerate as that is, it's totally unnecessary. I'm perfectly fine"

"Don't lie. Your wound is still tender, you're still required to take medication and if you try to tell me that you're over what Kusaka did then I'm going to have to slap you"

"Don't talk to your Captain like that!" Toshiro snapped.

"Would you relax" Ichigo brushed a leaf from his shoulder absently "we both know you can take care of a hollow, we're just child minding that's all"

"What was that?" the young Captain glared at him.

Ichigo chuckled "I'm kidding, alright" he answered quickly "I'm here cause Byakuya won't let me within an inch of Rukia or Renji, he thinks I'll distract them from their work-"

"His concerns aren't unfounded" muttered Toshiro.

"-And Captain Ukitake has fallen ill again so I don't want to bother him, I'm scared to go within a mile of the Squad Eleven Barracks, and Hisagi and Izuru don't want to know. I'm outta options here"

"I'm sure I've said this before, but none of that is my concern"

"True" admitted the substitute "but you're still stuck with me, you are the one that said I wasn't allowed to go wandering around Squad Ten Barracks without your permission remember"

"I remember" Toshiro scowled haughtily and walked on without another word.

Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes at Rangiku who chuckled and followed her Captain, running a little to catch him up; for someone so small, Toshiro could sure keep up a fast pace. They were moving through the trees, leaving the sight of Seireitei behind them; it was dark and the night was late. Due to various reasons, which Toshiro put down to Squad Ten incompetence, they hadn't been able to leave until the evening.

"Think he's doing ok?" asked Ichigo quietly as they trailed on in Toshiro's wake.

Rangiku glanced at the substitute and then gazed after her Captain "I think he's better" she replied "he still gets more stressed than he used to, and sometimes I'll catch him thinking about Kusaka when he thinks I'm passed out on the couch. And I know there's something he's not telling me, some secret he's keeping" she sighed "the Head Captain's got to him too, a job like this for a Captain…it's an insult if nothing else"

"I'm surprised he's not complained about it," said Ichigo "if it were me, I'd be breaking things right about now"

"That's because you seem to have this urgent need to upset the high ranking officers of the Seireitei" Rangiku replied with a snicker, though not without fondness "but his Captaincy is so important to him, he works hard to keep it. I just hope he doesn't run himself in to the ground with it"

"That's not going to happen" the substitute answered firmly "I won't let it"

Rangiku smiled and brushed aside a group of leaves "you know, this might be strange, but I'm kinda glad you're here"

"You are?"

"The fact that you're here, the Captain might find it irritating, but at least it's a distraction from what's going on inside his head. I find that a comfort" then she grabbed Ichigo and got him a headlock "that and your hair is just so orange it makes me laugh!"

"Don't pick on me about my hair!" growled Ichigo grappling with her "and let me go! Rangiku!"

"Rangiku, put him down" Toshiro stopped as he heard the scuffle "a woman your age shouldn't push themselves on to men that are clearly not interested"

"What do you _mean_ a woman my age!" Rangiku dropped Ichigo like a sock and dashed over to her Captain "if you've got something to say then say it!"

"The World of the Living has a term for women like you, Rangiku, I believe the word is Cougar"

"Toshiro!" Ichigo clambered back up from the ground holding the back of his head "where in the hell did you hear a word like that?"

"That is the correct terminology, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but where'd you get it from?"

"From that friend of yours, I forget his name"

"Friend?" Ichigo blinked, then realised "oh, you mean Mizuiro" he grew suspicious "what else did he tell you? And when did you two become such good pals?"

"Since he seemed to be the only one in the World of the Living who had half a brain" Toshiro replied ignoring Ichigo's insulted expression, the substitute's grades were above average after all "and we talked about quite a lot if you're that interested"

"Oh yeah, like what?" asked Ichigo curiously, though he had the notion that this really wasn't something he should delve in to "how'd you getting talking about Cougars of all things. I mean, I get how he got talking about it, but it doesn't seem to your kinda topic"

"He was asking about Rangiku at the time"

"Ah"

"He did?" asked Rangiku delighted "is he cute? I can't actually remember"

"Rangiku, your taste in men has dilapidated somewhat over the years" Toshiro told her scathingly "I wouldn't presume to inflict you upon to some poor man from the World of the Living even if consorting with them was allowed"

"I'll have you know I have a very selected high quality taste in men!"

"Then what was that thing I found on the floor of my office last month?"

Rangiku thought through the various men she'd done in the passed month and then recalled the specific one "oh, that" she shuddered "that was a very drunken mistake"

"Really, the guy seems convinced you two are made to be together" Toshiro complained with a sigh "he keeps trying to shove bunches of flowers under the office door, it's very distracting when I'm trying to work and all I can hear is this stupid idiot reciting love poems though the door. From what sewage pit did you drag him from anyway?"

"He comes from Squad Four" explained his Lieutenant apologetically.

"I should have guessed" said Toshiro with some distaste.

"Come on, Squad Four can't be that bad" Ichigo reasoned "Hanataro is in Squad Four and he's a good guy"

"Sure, he's sweet" Rangiku "but he's just not my type. The rest of Squad Four are like dogs after a rabbit, all drool and no bite. And they have no idea what to say to a beautiful woman"

"Well it's not exactly easy, you know, some girls can be forbidding"

"Why, Ichigo, are you speaking experience?" asked Rangiku with delight.

"You look at Tatsuki for more than five minutes and she'll have your head"

"Tatsuki!" Rangiku repeated with a gasp "is she the reason you and Orihime have never made it official?"

"Huh?" Ichigo blinked, confused "me and Orihime, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, Ichigo, don't tell me you've never noticed!"

"Never noticed what?"

Rangiku jumped in front of him and studied him carefully, he looked back puzzled "hm, you really don't know, do you?" the Lieutenant realised.

"Don't know what?"

"Oh you'll find out one day I'm sure" Rangiku promised with a wink "but I'd never betray the trust of a friend over something so important"

"Would you two keep moving?" Toshiro snapped over his shoulder "we're out here for a reason if you hadn't forgotten"

They moved on again, Rangiku humming merrily to herself and picking a flower to twirl it between her fingers "so, how long have you and Tatsuki been dating?"

"What?" Ichigo stopped mid-step "we're not!"

"You're not? Well who are you dating then? It's not that mad girl with the red hair and glasses, is it?"

"No! I'm not dating anyone!"

"Oh, you like to play the single man line, huh. Good on you, it's the best there is!"

"No, it's not that, I just don't date"

"What? Not at all?" Rangiku gasped in amazement "Ichigo, don't tell me!" she giggled, "you're not a vir-"

"I- so what if I am?" spluttered the substitute flushing darkly "it's my choice, right?"

"But you haven't had sex? Not even once?" the Lieutenant's mouth fell open "not with Orihime?"

"What is it with you and Orihime? We're just friends!"

"But you must have sex with someone, a guy like you! Come on, you must have a string of girls just begging for it"

"No! It's not like that! It never even comes up!"

"Not at all?" Rangiku laughed out loud "oh man, I expect this from the Captain, but from you! I thought for certain you'd bedded a girl at least once!"

"Well I haven't" said Ichigo with embarrassment.

"Oh, boy, you have NO idea what you're missing out on!"

"I just haven't found the right-"

"Ichigo, they're all right!" Rangiku sighed impatiently "just pick one! Hell, pick two!"

"I don't really-"

"You've never had a threesome dream?" Rangiku snorted "I find that hard to believe, men your age are all horn dogs" she grinned and elbowed the substitute in the ribs "I'll bet you've had hundreds of wet dreams, right? On a nightly basis!"

"No- I don't think about that stuff!" Ichigo's face was now burning.

This time Rangiku really did laugh, "now you're just teasing! All boys your age think about sex, it's perfectly natural"

"Not me"

"You liar! Go on, admit it, you think about girls all the time, don't you?"

"No, I don't! I have other things on my mind!"

"What's your favourite fantasy? Tatsuki and Orihime together? Or maybe Rukia?"

"No way! We're just friends, that's it!"

"Hey, have you had a fantasy with me in it?"

"Toshiro, help me out here!" Ichigo implored to the Captain in front of him.

"Why?" asked Toshiro blinking "you got yourself in to this hole, you can get yourself out"

"You have had a dream about me, I just know it!" Rangiku teased "was I good?"

"I swear, I haven't had any-"

"Quiet, both of you!" Toshiro suddenly ordered stopping abruptly so that Ichigo and Rangiku both walked in to him "and watch where you're going?"

"Sorry about that" Ichigo looked around "can you sense something?"

"You can't? Are you really that bad at sensing spiritual pressure?"

"Hey, I leave this kinda stuff to Uryu. He's better at it than me"

"Clearly"

"It's not much of a hollow" Rangiku commented looking to where her Captain was gazing levelly at the black in between the trees surrounding them "barely a mouse"

"Mice can become hollows?" asked Ichigo "hey, do mice even have ghosts?"

Toshiro looked at him.

"Not the right time to ask" the substitute guessed quickly.

"If you two wait here I'll be back in under a minute" said the Captain as he lifted a hand over his shoulder and took the handle of his Zanpakuto.

"Wait a minute" Ichigo protested.

"What?" asked Toshiro impatiently.

"Don't go walking off without telling us where you're going" the substitute lectured "didn't you hear Rangiku say she was worried about you? Tell us which way you're planning to go before you leaping off"

Toshiro blinked "you've been looking after those sisters of yours for too long" he replied archly.

"My sisters are smart enough to tell me where they're going" Ichigo answered calmly "and they're not a head strong Captain with a gaping hole in his stomach"

Toshiro glowered "I'm going to say this one last time, I'm perfectly well. Stop coddling me" and with that he was gone, leaving only the leaves to sweep from the tree and fall gently to the ground.

Ichigo sighed loudly "well, I tried"

"He just won't listen to reason" Rangiku bemoaned.

"Is getting the Squad's pride back really that important to him?"

"Well, things have been a little more difficult for us" the Lieutenant reasoned, "we didn't have the prestige of some of the other Squads, but Squad Ten has always been well respected. I guess he blames himself for ruining that"

"But is it really ruined?" Ichigo looked up at the stars that twinkled down through the trees "that badly?"

"Depends from what perspective you're looking from. Maybe to an unranked officer this is all rather silly, but I suppose with the betrayal of the three Captains the others are feeling pressured to show that they're not weak or inoperative. Any taint on their reputation could put them under scrutiny"

"You're all just a bunch of idiots, ya know" Ichigo sighed, leaning against a tree "Aizen's the real problem here, if you all just forgot about your prides and worked together Aizen wouldn't stand a chance"

Rangiku smiled "politics don't work like that, not even if it's the right thing to do. Everyone has to prove their own worth"

"It's just silly"

"Well maybe, but-" Rangiku stopped suddenly and gazed about looking alert "can you hear that?"

Ichigo listened "is it Toshiro? Is he in trouble?"

"I don't think so" Rangiku tilted her head "listen, it sounds…more like a roaring"

They stayed motionless, ears open; at first there seemed to be nothing to hear, the trees were silent and still. The sky above was unmoved; all was calm. Then it approached them and reached their ears like a far off sound just under the wavelength noise. It was like a TV in the next room, muffled and quiet.

But as they stayed there it grew louder, coming up to them under their feet. There was a thundering beneath them as if a hundred armies were marching upon them at a run. It was a sound that a person would recognise, but not know quite where they'd heard it before. It was getting louder and louder, and the ground began to shake when Rangiku finally realised what it was.

"Ichigo, we need to move!"

"Huh, why?"

"Don't ask questions, just move!"

"But-"

The ground caved in beneath them; the land about them became chunks of rock crumbling down in to a black cavern below. Trees tipped sideways, their roots uncovered as they fell forwards and then down along with the rubble. They fell, both of them. Soul Reapers were fast, but nature was quicker; even as they tried to climb out there were already more clumps of ground coming down on them. Gravity pulled them down hard, dragging them down with the land and forest.

The Soul Reapers flitted from one falling chunk of land to another, slipping out the way when more earth came down on top of them. Soil dropped in to their eyes, little stones hit their bodies hard. It was like being buried alive. He was almost to the top, just as she reached it, when, as if it vanished, there was nothing beneath him.

It was the shock more than anything that made him drop. And once he'd let go, there was nothing to save him. Rushing air sped passed him, soil was pouring in to his mouth as he fell. Drowning under soil and stones it was all just too heavy to lift; he reached for his Zanpakuto out of habit, but couldn't reach it.

Everything was soil, an entire waterfall of dirt cascading down on him, and the huge lumps of land came down with it. There was something hard, it struck him across the head and then he felt as if he were impaled upon a giant sword. He couldn't see anything, he could barely move; all he was aware of was the cry barely heard above the roar of the landslide.

"ICHIGO!"

* * *

"Ichigo"

The world around him was black. He couldn't feel anything, except a feeling of heaviness. It felt like he was rising from a deep sleep, a slumber he could easily return to if the world would allow him.

"Ichigo" came the whisper for a second time.

It sounded far away, and yet at the same time he knew it was right next to him. But he felt so weighted and his sleep was intense. He didn't want to wake up. A hand touched his shoulder lightly and he was surprised he could feel such a soft gesture; he would have thought his body was too numb with drowsiness to know the feel of unsure fingers. Ichigo grunted, he wanted to stay exactly where he was. Maybe it was just his dad bothering him.

"Ichigo, wake up"

No, the voice was too hushed and low. The substitute knew for a fact that his father's voice couldn't go below anything quieter than a bellow or shout. So, it certainly wasn't his dad. Yuzu maybe. It sure as hell wasn't Karin. Kon?

Nah. It wasn't that stupid soft toy's style to wake him so carefully. But he knew the voice, recognised it as clearly as his house. And the more he thought about it the more it puzzled him; he was fairly sure it wasn't a member of his family trying to wake him. But there was no one else in his house; Rukia was in the Soul Society and anyway, he sincerely doubted she would ever be so considerate when trying to wake him. Then, who the hell was it? Unless…

Unless he wasn't at home like he thought he was.

Feeling crept back to him. He was on his back; branches were sticking in to his spine. He was outside; he could feel the warm air around him. The sense that someone was sitting next to him came to him…

…And there was pain. Agonising pain; it ripped through him, slowly at first, but the more he rose to consciousness the sharper it grew. It burned, screamed, and in his head he gasped in agony.

"Ichigo"

Little by little Ichigo's eyes cracked open and found they were staring upwards, high above in to the night sky. Then there was movement beside him and a pair of large yet serious eyes gazed down him. The colour of blue deep in them was startling and as they slowly blinked a face came to join them. A hand returned to his shoulder and pushed him gently.

Ichigo opened his mouth, it was dry and bitter; all he could taste was dirt "T-Toshiro" he croaked. He tried to move but pain flared across him and he fell back.

"Keep still" said Toshiro, moving to sit by Ichigo's head so the substitute could see him without moving "you're hurt, Ichigo. I've sent Rangiku to get help"

Hurt? Well, that would explain the agony at least. He wanted to lift his head to see, but the tiniest movement of his arm, which tugged the muscles in his chest, quickly squashed the idea. He was going to have to rely on Toshiro he realised "…what happened?"

"A landslide" replied the Captain.

"Not a hollow?"

"No, were you expecting one?"

"…Not exactly" Ichigo muttered, "…I just figured that, after all the monsters I've killed, I could handle one little landslide"

"It took both you and Rangiku by surprise" Toshiro explained, "she was lucky to get out unharmed, you were buried alive"

"I see" Ichigo blinked up at the sky and then realised he didn't understand "…if I was buried alive then why do I feel like I've been run through with every single sword Byakuya possesses?"

"You were impaled on a root of a tree under all the soil"

"Oh…" then the substitute's eyes expanded "wait, so I've got a great big hole through the middle of me?"

"That's how I would describe it" agreed Toshiro eyeing the bloody wound in the middle of Ichigo's stomach "I've done what I can, but it's not something I'm greatly skilled at. You'll have to wait for proper treatment until Squad Four get here"

Ichigo nodded, but the motion sent jolts of pain through him and he grunted; noticing this Toshiro looked about him as if in search of something. Ichigo laid there, his body still felt heavy despite the pain; he felt as if he'd been shoved in to the washing machine and hung out to dry.

"Hey. What happened to the hollow?" he asked numbly.

"I dealt with it" Toshiro answered, reaching over as he found what he was looking for. He plucked a small low growing plant from the ground "I came back just in time to see Rangiku clamber out from the landslide. It took almost an hour to dig you out, even with Zanpakuto"

"Guess I'm an idiot," mumbled the substitute, "…lecture you about not being careful and then get myself battered by a bit of soil"

"It does rather put you in your place" replied the Captain, sitting forwards. He pulled apart the small plant, pulling the roots from the leaves; ripping the roots in to bits he pressed one to Ichigo's mouth "here, this will help with the pain"

The substitute parted his lips and accepted the tiny piece of plant; he bit in to it and a bitter juice oozed out. He tried to chew, but his jaw was lax and the pain was throbbing. The root fell out of his mouth and he gave up "…it's chewy" he complained limply.

Toshiro gave a noise of impatience and picked up the bit of root again; putting it in to his own mouth, he chewed it a few times before spitting it back out in to his hand. Placing it back against the substitute's lips he waited for Ichigo to open his mouth before pushing the root in gently.

Ichigo felt the root fall in to his mouth lightly and this time he managed to swallow with ease; they did this a few times, Toshiro chewing the root before giving it to Ichigo to swallow. The bitter taste filled Ichigo's mouth and he hated it intensely but Toshiro's soft fingers were persisted against his lips and he obeyed.

"I'm sorry I'm not Miss Inoue" Toshiro said as he spat out the last of the root and pushed it in to the substitute's mouth "she could heal you easily"

"It doesn't matter, you're not doing that bad a job" Ichigo muttered, smacking his lips to subdue the foul taste in his mouth. In truth he was glad it wasn't Orihime taking care of him; she would have worried herself in to a panic when he'd gone under, and he hated to scare her. At least Toshiro wasn't so concerned with his welfare, though the Captain seemed focussed on making Ichigo as comfortable as he could.

Rangiku would probably call the substitute a fool for being grateful it wasn't a beautiful girl taking care of him and healing him. She would have babbled about all the fantasies Ichigo could have had in that semi-conscious state while his wounds were being treated with tender hands. Come to think of it, he was surprised how careful and gentle Toshiro's fingers had been.

"Hey, Toshiro"

"Yes"

"Do you think it's weird?"

"Do I think what's weird? The fact that you try to mother me but you're the one that needs looking after? I'd call it typical, rather than weird"

"No, not that" Ichigo shook his head slowly, careful not to jar his body anymore than he already had. He still felt tender, and his wound still throbbed heatedly, but the pain was easing, slowly ebbing away. And he felt more awake "I mean…I don't think about girls, not really" he muttered, "that's weird, right?"

Toshiro looked down at him "I would think that would be something to discuss with your father"

Ichigo snorted, despite the pain "no way"

"A friend then"

"I guess" the substitute conceded "but…Keigo and Mizuiro talk about girls all the time, I'd feel weird admitting I don't think about girls. And great as Chad is, you don't really talk about this stuff with him"

"What about the Quincy?"

A wry cracked smile spread across Ichigo's face "does Uryu even know what a girl is?" he asked "he seems to be buried in Quincy powers and schooling, I doubt he's even realised they're a different gender"

"Yes, I can understand that" replied the Captain.

Ichigo twisted his neck a little to look up at the Soul Reaper "you mean Rangiku was being serious, you've never slept with a girl?"

"I've never even kissed a girl," answered Toshiro, he thought for a second "unless you count Momo insisting on kissing my cheek every time she came to visit" he grumbled.

"But…" mumbled Ichigo "aren't you even interested?"

"When do I have the time to be interested exactly?" the Captain asked, "being a Captain is time consuming, especially if you actually do the job correctly. Before that I was only interested in achieving top marks in the Academy, Kusaka was the only one I would really talk to save for Momo"

"And before that?"

Toshiro was surprised by the question, but answered anyway "before that I lived in a village with my grandmother, most of the villagers kept out of my way"

"That must have been kinda lonely" the substitute commented, "you didn't have any friends to play games with?"

"They feared my spiritual pressure, the power I possessed"

"I know what that feels like" Ichigo gave a small grin "when I joined High School half the school was scared of me and Chad" up above a small cloud passed under the stars "I guess that means we got something in common"

"Seemingly so" Toshiro agreed as he glanced over at the wound in Ichigo's torso "I suppose that's two things we have in common"

"Two?"

"We both have matching wounds in our stomachs"

"Well, at least I'm not going to wandering out the World of the Living with it bleeding to end up passed out on the ground"

Toshiro ignored him stubbornly and Ichigo's grin widened slightly; they didn't speak after that, or even really move. The substitute looked up at the stars far above him and listened to the silence with a gnawing at the back of his head. It wasn't a big thing, only little; the brief look in to Toshiro's past had distracted him. But it was a thought in the depths of his skull, just out of reach; it was easy not to think about it, and in the throb of his wound he forgot about it. But just because it wasn't considered at that time didn't mean it was gone forever. The thought would once again return to Ichigo's head, and once it did it would consume at him, like nothing ever had before.

* * *

I know, I know. Making Ichigo get hurt in a landslide when he's defeated hollows, monsters and God knows what else, seems a little lame, also in light of the fact he can do flash step. It was the only thing I could come up with ok.

That aside I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Thanks for reading!

Please leave a review.

Kiki

Kizzes!


	7. Different Shades Of Friendship

**Review Replies  
**AngyHitsu: Thanks so much for the review! I was going to put more in about Toshiro's history - about his grandmother and that - but I didn't want to over do things. Sometimes less is better I think. And yup, there will be more questioning from Ichigo about his attractions in coming chapters, especially in the one after this one. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Well hello everyone, I did mean to update yesterday but it didn't happen. I'm forever making plans to do something and I never do it. For THREE days now I've been planning to watch the latest episode of White Collar...but I get distracted.

Anyway. Last Time: There was a landslide and Ichigo was hurt. Toshiro had been ordered by the Head Captain to take out a hollow, and he helped Ichigo out with a healing herb. Thanks to Rangiku making fun of him, Ichigo has noticed he doesn't think about girls all that much.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.

WARNINGS: None. If you see one, just giggle at it, ok.

And does anyone else have difficulty naming chapers? I do. It took me half an hour and a very lame title generator to come up with this one.

Enjoy!

* * *

**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Seven: Different Shades Of Friendship **

Ichigo was dreaming; it wasn't about anything in particular or even very interesting, and when he woke up he probably wouldn't remember a thing. But right now he was asleep and his head was filled with strange characters some holding Ouins in their hands while others used ice and landslides to protect themselves. It was a confused mess of memories and thoughts right down to some scantily dressed nurse being laughed at by Rangiku. He was perplexed to say the least especially when Renji showed up apparently teaching Hanataro how to trick a hollow in to tap dancing its way to hell.

Now Ichigo felt _really_ befuddled.

And suddenly Isane was there with a needle in her long fingers and Ichigo panicked because he knew this was a dream and he didn't know how to stop her. But then she looked at him with an expression of surprise before breaking out in to a kind smile.

"Welcome back"

Ichigo blinked, and then blinked again.

Suddenly the barrier between dream and reality came back in to focus along with came the realisation that he was no longer asleep. He grunted and tried to take stock of the situation. He remembered the landslide, talking with Toshiro…after that, there was nothing.

"What happened?" he asked groggily lifting a hand to his face and wiping away the sleep.

"You were in a landslide" Isane replied, she still had hold of the needle the substitute noticed, "it took Captain Hitsugaya a long time to get you out"

"Yeah, I know all that" Ichigo answered trying to look about him "but all I can remember is Toshiro making me eat this real nasty weed"

"It was a healing herb" Isane corrected "it helped with the pain and made you sleep, it was very smart of the Captain to actually think of it" she said this last part with some surprise as if a smart minded Captain was a very rare thing indeed. She had a point; most of the Captains, with the exception of her own, fainted at the sight of blood and burst in to tears if they had to deal with the situation themselves.

It made life very difficult sometimes.

Kenpachi was the worst.

He didn't faint at the sight of his blood, he laughed at it.

"How long have I been out?" Ichigo lifted his head and tried to struggle up.

"Almost a day, you must have been tired" Isane put the needle down to push the substitute back in the bed "rest, the wound is healed but you still need to take things slow"

She picked the needle back up.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed "if I'm completely healed then what's that for?"

"We only dealt with the wound in your stomach, so you'll still have aching bones and muscles, this will help with the pain"

Ichigo looked at the needle. Oh god, it was longer than Gin Ichimaru's Shinsō "that's decent of you…really…but I'm ok with pain, you don't have to bother"

Isane rolled her eyes "come on now, you don't have to worry. It'll just be a little prick"

She came forwards. Ichigo shrank back in to the bed "no! Please! It's fine, really – _NOOOOO_!"

"What on earth?" Renji walked in to the room just as Ichigo's scream filled the air "Ichigo!"

The curtain was pushed back and Isane walked out shaking her head "all done. See, I told you it'd be nothing to worry about"

From the bed Ichigo whimpered.

Renji looked from the needle in Isane's hand back to his friend. He sighed and rolled his eyes "honestly, anyone would think you'd been impaled by the Head Captain's Zanpakuto"

"I would _rather_ be in a head on head collision with Kenpachi, than go through that again!" said Ichigo through gritted teeth clutching his arm "doctors and their needles, they're dangerous!"

"Uh-huh" Renji made himself comfortable on the side of the bed "so, apart from getting pathetic over a needle, how are you feeling?"

Ichigo scowled at the insult but replied, "fine, I guess. I don't reckon there's any lasting damage"

"You know it's a pity the landslide didn't swallow you up," said Renji with a grin "at least then we wouldn't have to worry about what to do with you"

"It feels so nice to be love" the substitute shot back. He rubbed his shoulder feeling convinced Isane had swapped the needle for a ninety-inched blade "so I take the seal hasn't broken"

Renji shook his head "no, not yet. I'm sorry"

"Dammit, everyone's going to be worried sick about me" the substitute frowned "this length of time and no contact, Uryu will be pulling out his hair and stamping on his glasses. Orihime and my family will be frantic-" he was cut off by a chuckle "this is _funny_ to you?"

"No! Not at all" Renji said quickly, he grinned, "it's just…a semi bald Ishida is a very funny thing to picture"

"Well, I'm glad someone finds it amusing" Rukia walked in to the room and came over to them. Sitting herself beside Renji she scowled "the seal has shown no sign of weakening, there are Soul Reapers trapped in the World of the Living and I don't want to mention all the ghosts that unable to come to this place. The Ouin has caused chaos. Do you realise how many hollows will be taking advantage of this?! How many souls are going to be eaten, there aren't enough Soul Reapers down there to take care of them all"

"I know it's a disaster" Renji replied "but come on, a blind and bald Ishida is just too hilarious!"

Rukia sighed and made a comment about the size of a man's brain, then she glowered at Ichigo "and as for you, I seriously don't believe it!"

"What did I do?" Ichigo protested.

"You mean _apart_ from getting yourself buried by a landslide?! Are you trying to get yourself killed, Ichigo Kurosaki? What were you doing out of the Seireitei anyway!"

"I was helping Toshiro kill a hollow"

"I'm sure Captain Hitsugaya is more than capable of dealing with a hollow. From what I heard he spent more time looking after you than taking care of the hollow"

"It's the thought that counts!"

"Oh really? And you really believe a Captain isn't capable of killing a hollow?"

"Look, I know Toshiro doesn't need any help with his job" the substitute replied patiently "but that guy's a mess, even if he doesn't know himself"

"Seems ok to me" Renji reasoned, "he's doing his job as good as ever, his wound's all but healed. And Rangiku was telling me he's been lecturing her about reports non-stop. That sounds like a healthy Captain Hitsugaya to me"

"That's just an act" Ichigo disagreed "I know what I'm talking about. He's bottling it all up and it doesn't work"

"And you're going to be there when he needs a shoulder to cry on?"

"No, I'm gonna be there to knock some sense in to him"

"Well, do you think you could do that without getting yourself killed?" asked Rukia primly "unless you want me to explain to Orihime and the rest of your friends why you got yourself killed"

"Alright-alright, you made your point. I'll be careful"

"I'm serious, Ichigo. Right now you're trapped in the Soul Society, you're our responsibility and I don't want to look Orihime in the face if something happens to you"

"I'd said I'll be careful, what more do you want? Written statement?"

"Just make sure you are careful, no heroics or stupid ideas, got it?"

"Yes, _sir_"

There was a flurry at the door and Rangiku peered in; she spotted Ichigo and bounded in with a delighted grin "you're awake at last! I was getting worried that the Captain had poisoned you" she beamed down at him "and how's my favourite virgin?"

Ichigo blanched.

"V-_Virgin_?" Renji repeated eyes expanding, he looked at Ichigo "you're a virgin?"

"Gotta a problem with that?!" demanded the substitute savagely trying to pretend he wasn't self-conscious about it.

"No, not at all" Renji held up his hands quickly "just assumed you'd already…ah…you know"

"Well I haven't"

Renji grinned.

Rangiku meanwhile was stealing Rukia "I need you to give me your report for Squad Thirteen, quickly, while the Captain is having his check-up"

"But I already dropped that report off" said Rukia blankly "I gave it to you before, remember"

"So…you never did it?" asked Renji unable to resist "not even with Orihime?"

Ichigo glared "what is it with everyone and Orihime?! We're just friends, dammit!"

"Friends, yeah, I can totally see that" Renji was still grinning.

Ichigo growled and gave up "go on, get it outta your system" he ushered "you want to laugh right, because it's _so_ funny I've never had sex before"

"Oh yes" said Rangiku from where she was talking with Rukia "it's _hilarious_"

Although Renji was still smirking, his expression had less humour in it than was perceived "actually…I'm a little relieved"

Ichigo looked at him "huh? You are?"

"Well, I was always a little concerned that you and Rukia had…done it"

"And it's a good thing we haven't?"

"Damn right it's a good thing!" Renji agreed passionately "Ichigo, Soul Reapers are not allowed to fraternise with humans, not like that"

"But I'm a Soul Reaper"

"No, you're a substitute, a human boy from the Land of the Living. If you and Rukia had committed that sin who knows what the Head Captain would have done to you both. It wouldn't be pretty I can tell you that much" the Lieutenant actually shuddered at the thought "don't ever forget you're human, Ichigo, no matter how long you're trapped here"

"Renji, that was almost wisdom" snorted Rukia as she returned to them.

"I do have moments of intelligence, you know" he shot back.

"Well, don't strain yourself too hard, we don't want your brain giving out"

Ichigo was silent, thinking about what Renji had said. Then he dismissed it as irrelevant; it wasn't as if anyone had anything to worry about. He and Rukia _were_ just friends, no matter what Rangiku thought. He watched the Soul Reapers bicker amongst themselves and suddenly felt very separate from them.

Renji was right; he was human, and this wasn't his home. At least, not yet: he just wished the seal would break and he could return to his friends and family. He was staring in to space thinking about them when it suddenly came in to his brain that someone was standing in the doorway.

"Toshiro?"

The squabbling Soul Reapers stopped all abruptly aware that a Captain was watching them. Slowly Renji lowered the bandage he'd been about to tie Rukia up with. Toshiro's eyes, however, snapped to his own Lieutenant "Rangiku, put that down! Now! It's not a toy!"

Pouting Rangiku return the heart monitoring system back to where she'd found it, then she grinned, "I didn't think you'd come to visit Ichigo! Captain, you're so sweet!"

"It's called having good manners" he replied impatiently "though I don't expect you to understand that concept"

"Don't give me that!" she cooed "I know you came here because you were worried!"

"I can assure I have very little care for the matter"

"And you don't need to worry about the nurses either" his insatiable Lieutenant continued as if he hadn't spoken "Ichigo hasn't slept with any of them"

"Would you give that up?!" her Captain snapped "no one cares!" he walked passed her and gave the other pair an expectant look "isn't there something you two could be doing?"

"Uh…I have the day off, Captain" replied Renji, almost apologetically.

"Byakuya gave you the day off?" Rukia's eyebrows disappeared in to her hair "has he gone mad?"

"Actually I think he's got bored of me asking for overtime"

"Ah, that sounds more like my brother"

"Nevertheless, I'm sure there are more productive things you could be doing" the white headed Captain said as he took the empty seat next to Ichigo's bed "rather than getting under the feet of Squad Four and bothering Captain Unohana's patients"

If there was then Renji couldn't think of it.

"You didn't have to come and visit me, you know" Ichigo told Toshiro "I didn't think you cared that much"

"As I said, it's called having manners" the Soul Reaper replied impassively "besides, had I not been attending my own appointment I certainly wouldn't have bothered"

"And what did Unohana say?"

"Nothing of import, I've made a full recovery"

"Save for the bucket-load of medication she's given you" his Lieutenant put in "which you _will_, of course, be taking"

"Is that your attempt at mothering me? Rangiku, you are not my mother"

Rangiku sighed tragically "sometimes it feels like I am. All the hard work and effort I have to put in to keep the running of Squad Ten going"

Toshiro was so shocked by this statement he was almost struck dumb "_what_ effort? You don't do any work!"

"Captain Hitsugaya" the calm sedate voice of the Squad Four Captain floated through to them before the lady herself appeared "I'm sure I just told you that you mustn't over exert yourself. The wound has healed but there may still be some inner injury yet to heal"

For a moment Toshiro looked tempted to point out that if Unohana wanted him to relax then she could get him a new Lieutenant. He said nothing, however; the Captain of Squad Four came over to Ichigo and smiled down at him.

"Isane told me you were awake. How are you feeling?"

"Fine" Ichigo replied, "thanks for patching me up"

"Of course" Unohana accepted as she gazed at him with an expert eye. Ichigo felt as if he was being x-rayed. The Captain seemed to satisfy herself that his condition was sound and said with some regret "unfortunately I now have to ask you to leave" she sighed lightly "the Ouin caused a lot of damage and a lot of casualties, we need all the space we can get"

"Don't worry, I understand" the substitute assured her, he was damn anxious to get away from Squad Four and its needles in any case "I'll find somewhere to go"

Ichigo hesitated; it didn't seem two minutes since he'd been looking for a place to stay. With very little expectation he looked to Renji.

Renji shook his head "I'm sorry, my Captain's not budging" he answered helplessly "he doesn't want you anywhere need Squad Six"

The Lieutenant looked to Rukia.

Rukia, sister to Byakuya, was caught with the same problem and so looked to Rangiku who looked thoughtful for a moment, and then cheerfully beamed at Toshiro.

The young Captain scowled.

"Under no circumstances am I allowing this substitute back in to my Barracks" he said stubbornly.

* * *

The hour was late and the area around him was empty; he knew that, but nevertheless he checked and rechecked before he broke the ice and looked inside. The Ouin was there, still and silent. He reached out to touch it, but thought better of it. He had no desire to own the Ouin for himself, but the memories the powerful object held within were more to Toshiro than he cared to admit.

Kusaka was a part of the Ouin, and a part of its history. But that meant nothing to anyone save Toshiro; he realised now, as he gazed at the golden piece, that he would never wish to use the power of the Ouin for the fear of feeling Kusaka again. Not that was something he had to worry about; no one in the world was allowed to touch this thing unless given direct order by the royal family.

The same royal family that hadn't used the Ouin in the last three thousand years; the object had simply been moved from one location to another in case an enemy found it. This seemed a very meaningless thing to Toshiro.

Like Ichigo had said, what was the point?

He shook his head immediately; it wasn't his place to think like that. He was merely a Captain given the blessing of guarding and protecting the Ouin. The reason for its existence was left to the royal family and curious substitutes who didn't know to keep their noses out of Soul Reaper business.

"I didn't give you permission to follow me, Ichigo"

Ichigo, who had thought he was being really sneaky, scowled and replied "permission be dammed, I'm not letting you protect the Ouin by yourself"

Toshiro grimaced and narrowed his huge blue eyes. He had of course expected Ichigo to come tiptoeing after him; he'd expected nothing less from the damn Soul Reaper. If there was something Ichigo Kurosaki shouldn't pay any mind to then money could be placed to say that he'd try his hardest to be involved - all in the name of friendship. Personally Toshiro just thought he was meddlesome.

"You've only just been released from the Squad Four Barracks, you should be resting"

"I could say the same about you"

"I have duties to attend to"

"So do I" agreed the substitute "a duty to my friends"

"Oh, we're returning to the friendship conversation again," said Toshiro flatly, he resealed the Ouin away and turned to face his companion with a very un-surprised expression on his face "your duty is not required"

"Well tough, I'm helping anyway"

"Why?" Toshiro's voice was pointed, and not grateful for the forced help in any way. His face alone made that perfectly clear.

Ichigo ignored this and prevailed "I'm worried about you" he persisted "so is Rangiku. We know you're still hurting, Toshiro, but you won't let us help you"

"As I have stated many times before, you don't need to concern yourself"

"I think I do"

For the first time Toshiro let his annoyance show "_why_?"

"Because you asked for my help, that's why"

"I don't remember asking for your help over anything"

"If you didn't want my help then I wouldn't know a damn thing about the Ouin" Ichigo answered "but I do, because you showed me"

"Correction you followed me when you had no right to, I felt forced to show the secret because I knew you'd never let it rest"

"That's not true" the substitute argued back "all you had to do was tell me it was nothing to be worried about and I would have backed off"

"What would make me think you'd leave it alone?" asked Toshiro with genuine interest "you haven't yet"

Another jibe Ichigo ignored, he wasn't going let Toshiro turn this on him "face it" he replied "if you didn't want me to know about the Ouin, then I wouldn't know about the Ouin. It's as simple as that"

"I still maintain you followed me without invitation"

"And I still maintain you knew I was there"

"How would I know that?" Toshiro folded his arms with a sigh "you may be terrible at concealing your spiritual pressure but you know how to follow a person without being caught"

"You knew" said Ichigo again, with so much conviction Toshiro found it annoying.

"And why would I know?" he repeated irritably.

Ichigo's attack was so fast he was a blur. He drew out his Zanpakuto and swung at Toshiro; the Captain reacted, he reached his sword and brought it round blocking the attack inches from his face. Ichigo leant in closer and between the two blades he grinned.

Toshiro on the other hand glared "what was that for?" he asked archly.

"Just proving a point" the substitute leant heavier on the blades so close his breath caught Toshiro's face "you're a Captain, you know everything that's happening around you like a sixth sense"

"Meaning?" Toshiro's eyes reflected in his blade.

"Meaning you knew I was following you and you let me" Ichigo replied as if charging at Toshiro with his Zanpakuto explained everything "you wanted me to know about the Ouin, because it was your way of asking for my help"

"Is that so?" Toshiro pushed back with his Zanpakuto and struck Ichigo away. He replaced his weapon back over his shoulder and waited for the substitute to do the same before he spoke again "whatever you have read in to my actions they're not true, I have no need of your help and nor do I want it"

"Then why did you ask for my help?"

"I didn't ask for anything, I don't want your help"

Ichigo sighed, "would ya stop being so stubborn?"

"Stubbornness has nothing to do with it, I don't need help from something as lowly as a substitute Soul Reaper on holiday"

Ichigo's jaw hardened "geez, I keep forgetting what a snot nosed brat you can be"

"That's _Captain_ Snot to you!" Toshiro snapped.

"Remind me all you want, I'm not calling you Captain"

Toshiro glared at him, Ichigo stared back being just as stubbornly. There was a streak of obstinacy in both of them and it turned their conversation in to a stalemate. They could stand here repeating the same things for years and neither of them would submit to the other. All at once Toshiro realised he wasn't going to make the substitute understand. And why would Ichigo understand? Toshiro wasn't sure he understood himself; he hadn't intended Ichigo to find out about the Ouin, really he hadn't. But subconsciously, in a place he kept at the back of his head, something told him that it would be wise that someone else knew of the Ouin's whereabouts.

There was no denying the Ouin was a powerful object; any villain worth his weight would seek the entity if they knew of its presence. If something happened to him he needed to be sure there was someone else to conceal the Ouin in another place. Of course Ichigo was much more likely to try and protect Toshiro rather than the Ouin but Yamato had demanded secrecy. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

And anyway, Toshiro knew he could _trust_ Ichigo.

That was more important to him than anything else.

Relenting he walked passed Ichigo with a short sigh "it doesn't matter" he said curtly "just make sure you don't tell anyone"

A smile touched Ichigo's face and he softened again, looking at Toshiro with something a little close to fondness "you know I won't" he answered joining the Captain's side as they walked along the bottom of the training grounds; he glanced sideways at Toshiro and tried to read the Captain's expression. Toshiro was looking better at least; no sign of pain or discomfort, still there was a tension in his jaw. It worried Ichigo a little, but until Toshiro opened up to him there was very little he could do.

If Toshiro knew Ichigo was giving him a diagnostic then he gave no indication of the fact. Instead of using flash-step he chose to walk, finding a little peace in the starry night sky above them. The Ouin was safe for another night, this he was pleased about. But how long would this guarding last? He didn't know. Yamamoto had given no mention of it.

Was this something Toshiro would have to do forever? Or was it a test of his loyalty and his stamina? It was so hard to tell and one never knew what was running through that old man's mind. He was old and wise, and the Captain of all of them. It was far from Toshiro's place to question such a man. But that didn't stop him wondering. Or maybe it was concern that filled him rather than wonder. After all, Toshiro had been classed a traitor and sentenced to death. It took a lot to escape such a sentence, as Rukia could attest to, and maybe Toshiro had more to prove before he could take his place back on the line of respect.

Considering all that maybe taking Ichigo for a second time wasn't the smartest move to make. The whole world knew Ichigo was more trouble than he was worth. Maybe it would be something Yamamoto would mark Toshiro on.

"Hey, Toshiro?"

"What?"

"Thanks"

Toshiro blinked and looked at the substitute questioningly "for what?" he asked.

"For letting me stay at the Barracks" Ichigo answered "I know you don't find it…optimal"

The substitute was pretty sure optimal was the wrong word to use; it was at least a very weak way of describing the annoyance plastered across Toshiro's face when he'd finally yielded and allowed Ichigo to stay with Squad Ten. Downright pissed off would have been the better phrase. It had taken Rangiku a good half hour to persuade the Captain and even then he'd threatened Ichigo not to disturb him on pain of death.

Toshiro was quiet for a moment as he gazed at Ichigo; he blinked once slowly and then turned away again as they reached the path of the training grounds and began to follow it up.

"Just make sure you don't cause trouble" was all he said.

* * *

And there ya have it. Next time there's going to be a little more interest between them, especially from Ichigo.

I was a little uncertain about this chapter because I don't like it as much as the last chapter. Still, I think the last scene turned out ok once I'd filled it out a little. When I first wrote it up I was two pages shorter than normal, but that last line is such a good Chapter end I didn't want to lose it. Which meant I had to go back through the whole thing and fatten it up a bit.

Anyway, please leave a review.

Thanks for reading!

Kiki

Kizzes!


	8. And Everything Changes

So it feels like it's been a while since I updated this story, actually it feels it's been a while since I updated ANYTHING. I was planning to update **Human** next, but then the whole plot for this story suddenly hit and I just had to get this chapter done.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.

Last Time: It was kinda a filler chapter, just to get Ichigo and Toshiro back together again. Being a watcher of Bleach I'm sure we're all used to fillers, huh. The filler arch when the Zanpakuto all became human has to be one of the worst fillers ever...but somehow I lived through it...anyway, I digress.

Enjoy!

* * *

**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Eight: And Everything Changes**

"This idea is ridiculous" Toshiro stated flatly as he held on to his paperwork and scowled at the building in front of him.

Ichigo looked down at him with lifted eyebrows "if you want to go argue with her then be my guest, she's your Lieutenant"

Toshiro's huge blue eyes narrowed and he looked like he would heartily kick his subordinate if he got the chance "she's just using this an excuse to lounge about in the office and drink"

Privately the substitute thought the Captain was probably right about this, but he tried to put a brighter note on to it "maybe she just thinks you need to relax a little"

"And how is sending me to a spa supposed to achieve that? All it does is get my paperwork wet"

Ichigo sighed "I don't think you were supposed to bring your papers with you"

"I have a job to do in case you'd forgotten!" Toshiro snapped.

"How could I forget?" asked Ichigo calmly "it's all you ever talk about" when Toshiro glared at him further he shook his head and added "look, just spend a couple of hours relaxing, would you? Get a massage or something, doze in the hot tub. Just for a while"

"I don't see why-"

"It will at least get Rangiku off your back" the substitute interrupted "come on, surely that makes it worth it"

Toshiro looked away stubbornly, and then huffed. Taking this as a sign of grudging acceptance on Toshiro's part Ichigo led the way to the doors and pulled one open. He stepped back and waited for Toshiro patiently. He didn't trust the Captain not to make some excuse at the last minute. Realising he had no chance to escape Toshiro sighed and held tighter on to his paperwork.

"These are confidential documents" he grumbled "they have no place in a spa"

"I'm sure there's a locker or something you could-"

"I'm not leaving important documents like these in a _locker_!"

"We'll figure something else out then" said Ichigo growing tired of waiting at the door and dragging the Captain in by his haori. Honestly, this was worse than babysitting his sisters. Having pulled Toshiro successfully in to the welcome area he shut the door firmly and gestured for Toshiro to go up to the reception desk "after you"

Toshiro gave him a sour look, but turned nonetheless and headed over to a receptionist who was busily writing out some notes. He waited crossly as Ichigo joined him and the poor receptionist looked up to find a Captain glaring at her as if it was her fault hollows existed in the first place.

She smiled brightly and cleared her throat "thank you for visiting us today, I hope you enjoy your stay"

Silence.

She faltered somewhat, and looked to Ichigo for aid.

"What kind of deals do you have on today?" he encouraged.

Rallying the receptionist beamed again "we have half price on all mud baths and facial masks"

Toshiro's eyes narrowed.

"Do I _look_ like I want to be plastered in mud?"

Ichigo heaved a sigh.

This was going to take a while.

* * *

Yamamoto looked gravely at the small array of Captains before him; not all of them had shown up. Unohana wasn't there, neither was Kyoraku. Ukitake had taken ill again and Kenpachi had taken it upon himself to fight against his entire Squad in an all out to the death battle. Ichigo had been in the Soul Society for days and hadn't challenged him once; the Squad Eleven Captain was beginning to get withdrawal symptoms.

Captain Hitsugaya was also absent; when called to the emergency meeting the messenger had been told that the Captain had taken the morning off to recover from his recent injuries. His Lieutenant had offered to come in his place but she had been so paralytically drunk the messenger had thought otherwise.

This was inconvenient for the Head Captain, but couldn't be helped. He had received Unohana's report on Captain Hitsugaya's condition and the Squad Four Captain had made it quite clear that she deemed him in need of rest. This had been her polite way of saying that any further pressure placed upon her patient would bring consequences.

Yamamoto was not one to be called a coward, but even he tried where possible to stay on the right side of Captain Unohana.

Nevertheless Hitsugaya would need to be told about the contents of this meeting. He was the only one who knew the whereabouts of the Ouin.

The Captains present were going about their usual routine of bickering with each other. Soi Fon had got herself all worked up because Mayuri had stated he could create a stealth force ten times smarter than hers. Soi Fon was quite insulted by this and had then claimed that Mayuri knew nothing about the stealth force and didn't have anyone to fill such shoes because he kept pointlessly killing his Squad members.

Mayuri had been angered by this.

He claimed he killed his Squad members in the name of science.

Soi Fon had then pointed out that he wasn't supposed to kill them in the first place.

"SILENCE"

The hall fell silent.

Captain Kuchiki stood calmly between the squabbling Captains completely unperturbed by the raging spiritual pressures that _died_ around him. The Head Captain looked at his subordinates gravely and they waited patiently. They all had some ideas about why they were here, some of them were completely wrong of course – for instance, Yamamoto had not called them all here so he could give Mayuri a larger budget cut for his experiments.

"This emergency meeting has been called regarding the seal that now surrounds the entire Soul Society" Yamamoto began, Mayuri looked vaguely disappointed "as you are all aware, the residue from the Ouin has blocked all contact with the World of the Living"

Silence greeted this statement.

"There are a number of Soul Reapers trapped down in the World of the Living, as well as countless souls who are unable to come to the Soul Society. The number of Hollows is going unchecked and I needn't point out to you that Aizen is an ever lurking presence"

More silence.

"This seal on the Soul Society has been a nuisance for too long, we must find a way to break it"

This last declaration sent a ripple of interest through the present Captains and even Byakuya showed signs of life. A couple of Captains looked at each other but most remained focussed on Yamamoto; it was Mayuri who voiced their unspoken questions "the seal is very powerful and solid, it will take a lot of power to break such a thing" he stroked his chin thoughtfully "what kind of Soul Reaper possesses the power to destroy the residue of the Ouin?"

Yamamoto was ready for this; he'd been thinking about it ever since the news of the seal on the Soul Society had reached him. Of course there was one idea, it had come to him in minutes. The only reason he hadn't voiced this solution was his reluctance in the idea itself. There were too many possibilities that could happen. It could seal the Soul Society forever, or maybe something even worse than that. But he was out of ideas and he was running out of time; the longer he hesitated, the more chaos there would be down in the World of the Living.

He felt he had no option.

"There is only one way we can choose to try and destroy the residue of the Ouin's power" he said out loud, his voice ringing round the hall and bouncing from wall to wall "we must use the Ouin itself"

* * *

"Stop splashing" Toshiro complained, "you're getting the paper wet"

Ichigo sighed loudly and splashed a little more, maybe only to annoy the Captain further. Said Captain was currently seated on a bench in a white fluffy kimono pouring over his accursed paperwork. Ichigo's own fluffy kimono was abandoned at the side of the hot tub in which he was now enjoying. The only problem was, Toshiro was supposed to be enjoying it too.

He had no idea how he'd managed to persuade Toshiro in to the changing rooms, how he'd succeeded in getting the stubborn snot to the hot tub was something he'd never know. Having managed thus far, however, he couldn't persuade the young Soul Reaper to take the kimono off and get in to the water. Toshiro was far too interested in a report he needed to complete.

Feeling drained by the whole experience Ichigo rested up against the wall and splashed the water again. Toshiro glared at him "stop that!"

"Why? It's the only way I can get your attention," the redhead pointed out "besides, you're supposed to be in here, not working. I'm under strict orders to make sure that happens"

"I have to get this complete by tomorrow"

"Then I guess I just have to keep splashing you with water until you give in"

The Captain gave him such an evil look the substitute was rather pleased all Zanpakutos were forbidden in the spa.

"Look, ten minutes" he compromised "if you spend ten minutes in this hot tub without doing work then we'll go back to the Barracks and you can do as many reports as you want"

Toshiro scowled and refused to answer.

"Or we can stay here for the next three hours and I can splash your work to my heart's content"

Now the Captain dropped his work with a slap and turned to face the substitute with annoyance "you're a pain, Kurosaki"

Ichigo grinned, "oh we've gone to second name terms, have we"

"Maybe it'll inspire you to start calling me Captain"

"Not gonna happen"

Toshiro glared at him.

"What? I don't see the big deal"

"It's _important_"

"Not to me" Ichigo rolled his eyes "you're stalling. Stop talking and start bathing"

He slapped the water invitingly; Toshiro huffed irritably but fiddled with the sash of his white robe nevertheless. The material slipped off his shoulders as he stepped tentatively in to the water and sank lower in to it, sliding over to the deeper end by the substitute.

"There. Happy?"

"Ecstatic" replied Ichigo "that wasn't too difficult now was it?"

The Captain huffed again and scowled in to the water. Ichigo sighed and shook his head in despair; at least he'd managed to get the Soul Reaper _in to _the water, though he wasn't sure what good it would do. Rangiku's idea had been for her Captain to relax and enjoy himself for a while; Toshiro looked about as relaxed as a zebra surrounded by a pride of lions. He was glaring in to the water as it bubbled gently around him.

Impatiently Toshiro grew bored and rubbed at his shoulder "now what?" he asked expectantly.

"Huh? What'd you mean?"

"Isn't something supposed to happen?"

"Like what? Bright lights and fireworks?" Ichigo sighed again "you're supposed to be relaxing, remember? That's what Rangiku wanted you to do"

"I completely fail to see how drowning in a bathtub is supposed to relax a person"

"The warm water eases the muscles, makes any pain go away…that kinda thing" Ichigo blinked hopefully "you feeling anything like that?"

"Only the distinct impression there's a thousand and one things I could be doing"

"Man, you just don't quit, do you"

"I have a job to do, and that doesn't include wasting my time in a hot tub that bubbles" said Toshiro savagely still rubbing at his shoulder with irritation "there's a number of reports I need to catch up on, and a list of other duties I have to complete and then there's the list of Soul Reapers lost during Kusaka's attack-"

"Is that shoulder bothering you?" interrupted Ichigo gesturing to where Toshiro was still holding the back of his neck.

"What's it to you if it is!" snapped the Captain "it's none of your concern"

Ignoring this Ichigo went over to him "here" completely disregarding Toshiro's look of horror he pushed aside the Soul Reaper's hand and felt the shoulder "geez, no wonder you're tense, you've got knots all the way along your back"

"Would you _get off_!" Toshiro pushed him away roughly "what do you think you're doing!"

This bounced right off the substitute who turned the young Captain around and dug his thumb in to the tense muscle "don't worry, I know what I'm doing. My Dad's a Doctor remember"

"I fail to see how that is even relevant" replied Toshiro pulling away, only to have Ichigo drag him back.

"Because he's taught me a few things over the years"

"I thought he spent his time trying to attack you with his martial arts technique"

"He does. But he's also taught me what to do if I'm ever hurt" Ichigo explained hauling the Captain back to him once more "would you stand still for a minute, I can't help if you keep moving"

"I don't need your help!"

"Yeah, you do" the substitute answered. Toshiro gave him a dark scowl over his shoulder, the redhead sighed, "ok, here's the deal. I won't completely soak your precious reports if you stand still…" he looked expectantly at his companion.

Toshiro's expression went stony and he folded his arms stubbornly. But he stopped struggling and Ichigo was finally given permission to continue. Using his hands the way his father had taught him he kneaded his way from one side to the other, paying attention to Toshiro's tiny reactions every time he caught a tight knot.

"You know" he murmured "it's sad I have to threaten you with your reports every time I want to help you"

"Then you shouldn't waste so much effort trying to help then"

"It's what friends do" Ichigo went a little lower and pressed his fingers in to Toshiro's spine "that feel any better?"

"No. It hurts"

"It'll stop in a moment, you just need to relax a little" he worked his way a little further down and found himself smiling a little.

"What's so funny?" asked Toshiro.

"Nothing. It's just…your haori makes you look so short and stocky" the substitute mused absently "but underneath it all you're actually kinda…" he ran his finger lightly down Toshiro's spine "…slender" he finished softly.

He stopped what he was doing and withdrew his hands away; Toshiro, who hadn't appreciated being referred to as short and _stocky_, turned to face him. Ichigo looked down at him; big blue eyes gazed up with an air of impatience.

"I'm done" the substitute said lightly.

"About time"

"Well, don't thank me whatever you do. I think I'd die from shock"

"Whatever. How much longer are you making me stand in this tub?"

Ichigo gave up. He sighed heavily and threw his hands in the air "well…at least I can tell Rangiku I tried"

Taking this as a sign he could retreat from the water without the danger of his work being sabotaged, Toshiro got out and reached for his robe. Tying the sash about his waist he felt the substitute was watching him; an irritating voice inside berated him and he felt the redhead was owed a little something.

Grudgingly he turned away to pick up his work "thank you" he muttered reluctantly "it feels better"

Ichigo smiled; that was all he was going to get and he knew it. At least the Captain knew how to thank a person "just let me know if it hurts" was all he said in reply.

The Captain said nothing and moved towards the door; Ichigo splashed the water. Part of him wanted to stay a little longer, but he'd promised Rangiku he'd stay with Toshiro no matter how much the Captain despised him for it. Seemingly Toshiro had accepted he wasn't going to get rid of the substitute that easily for he stopped and turned around.

"Are you coming?"

"Yeah" Ichigo clambered out of the water and grabbed his own robe. Sliding in to it he turned to the Captain waiting for him "hey, Toshiro, can I ask something…"

What it was he wanted to ask Toshiro never found out; there was a knock on the door and it slid open to reveal Rangiku who stepped in to the room. Her Captain scowled at her and folded his arms.

"Rangiku, you shouldn't be in here," he scolded, and then he caught the look on her face "…what's wrong?"

* * *

"This is a bad idea," said Ichigo, not for the first time "a very bad idea"

"Saying the same thing over and over is not going to stop me" Toshiro in a firm voice, "I have my orders"

"But you can't actually _agree _with this!" Ichigo persisted passionately "it's crazy!"

He walked after the Captain who led the way up to Sōkyoku Hill "come on, Toshiro, surely you can see this is nuts!"

"I'm sure I've said this before, when the Head Captain gives an order it's your duty and your honour to obey"

"Duty be dammed! You know this is wrong!"

"Actually I think it makes sense"

"You can't be serious!"

"I am. This seal on the Soul Society has been created by the Ouin, therefore it makes sense that the only thing strong enough to break such a seal is the Ouin itself"

"Or it could just make everything twice as bad! It's not worth the risk!"

"The Head Captain disagrees, I'll go with his judgement"

"You're not that stupid!" Ichigo answered fiercely "you think this is a bad idea just as much as I do!"

"You have no idea what I think"

"Toshiro!"

"Look" the young Captain stopped and turned to face the substitute; delving in to this haori he withdrew the Ouin and held it out to Ichigo "the Ouin is messing everything up, it's impeding the Soul Society from doing its job and preventing spirits from moving on. That has to stopped"

"I get that" Ichigo agreed, "I just don't think using the Ouin's power is the way to go about it"

"Nevertheless…" Toshiro turned away again and looked down at the object in his hand "if I have a chance to fix this then I will, whatever it takes"

He replaced the Ouin back in to his haori and moved on again; Ichigo watched him for a moment, cursing under his breath. Everything inside him was telling him this was a mistake; he knew he wasn't the only one. Toshiro was questioning this as much as he. He was pretty sure Yamamoto would be suspicious about this plan also.

Toshiro realised the substitute wasn't behind him and stopped again; he looked over his shoulder at Ichigo, his eyes lowered to the substitute's face which was, for once, below him further down the hill "do you want to stay here?" he asked "do you want to spend the next hundred years in the Soul Society?"

"Of course not" Ichigo replied, "ask a stupid question"

"Exactly. No one wants to wait a hundred years or more for the seal to break, the chaos it would cause is unthinkable"

"But it might not take a hundred years, it might be a matter of weeks"

"And how long to do we wait around?" enquired the Captain "a month, two, a whole year? How long are you prepared to wait and miss out on your life? The seal hasn't shown any signs of weakening or disappearing, as Soul Reapers we can't take the risk. Something has to be done"

"Yeah, I get that" Ichigo walked up the hill to join him "I just think there's another way. This is wrong"

"You say that, but do you have any other suggestions?" Toshiro blinked "if you do I'd be more than happy to hear them"

Ichigo said nothing.

The rest of the journey up the hill was made in silence; no matter how much Ichigo disagreed with this idea he knew the Captain had a valid point. There was only so much waiting they could do before it would be too late. Still, despite trying to reason every which way, the substitute couldn't sway the feeling of impending disaster; it felt bad, just thinking about it made him uneasy. But there was nothing he could do to persuade Toshiro; he'd been trying ever since they'd got the message to take the Ouin to Sōkyoku Hill.

They reached the brow of the hill and found themselves in a crowd of Soul Reapers, none of which were looking ecstatic at the prospect of using the Ouin's power. Ukitake was waiting for them and approached Toshiro when he saw them.

"So this is what you've been hiding," he said softly as he looked down at the younger Captain "I thought you were keeping something to yourself"

Toshiro glanced at him and took the Ouin out again "I'm sorry for not telling you, but the Head Captain-"

"I understand" Ukitake interrupted him gently, he was looking pale and tired "I'm not angry, just concerned. It was unwise of the Head Captain to give this duty solely to you"

"You think I'm not capable of carrying out my orders successfully?" Toshiro looked up at him.

"It's not a case of your capabilities, Toshiro" the older replied, "I would not have burdened any one Soul Reaper like this" he shook his head gravely "Soi Fon is furious" he sighed lightly and gave a small cough "however, time is pressing"

With a gesture he led the way to the tip of the Hill where the Head Captain and other Captains were waiting. Soi Fon was indeed holding an expression of fury; she looked ready to kill at any given moment. Other Captains were also looking somewhat miffed, but others were as passive as ever; Kyoraku greeted them with his usual smile and tip of his hat. Mayuri was simply scarily happy to see the Ouin again; how he longed to get his hands on it, for research purposes of course.

Yamamoto stepped forward as Toshiro came a stop "Captain Hitsugaya, you have brought the Ouin"

"Yes, Head Captain"

Soi Fon, unable to hold it in, rushed forwards with her fists clenched "I don't understand why _he _has it in the first place!" she fumed "I'm head of the Stealth Force, I'm the one who should have been given the duty of protecting the Ouin!"

"Yes, because that makes perfect sense of course" said Mayuri sarcastically "personally I think I should have been the one to guard the Ouin"

"Oh please!" Soi Fon growled "a person would have to be MAD before they let you near the Ouin!"

"At least I could have found an inventive way of hiding the object" he replied callously "you would have could up with some stupid place"

"How dare you! I could have protected the Ouin properly! It would have been hidden secretly"

"Hmm, down Yoruichi's bosom no doubt"

"ENOUGH" Yamamoto spoke loudly before Soi Fon could respond; she was flushing so hard her face was burning, her hand was on the hilt of her sword "we came here for a purpose, lets get this done as swiftly as possible" he turned to the young Captain holding the Ouin "I'm sure you know how to open the Ouin, Captain Hitsugaya"

Ichigo bristled; those words sounded like a dig at Toshiro's involvement with the Ouin and its thief Kusaka. Toshiro, however, made no comment and only nodded once. He held forth the object "I know what to do, Head Captain"

"Very well, proceed"

"This is a-" Ichigo began.

Ukitake put a hand on his shoulder and silently shook his head; the substitute relented but watched with concern as Toshiro reached for his Zanpakuto. All around them Lieutenants and other Soul Reapers who had managed to shirk their duties gathered in closer to watch as Toshiro lifted the Ouin in to the air; he left it there and some were surprised to see the thing hang in the air of its own will. It was almost as if it knew what was coming.

Renji and Rukia appeared at Ichigo's side and they glanced at each other waiting with baited breath as Toshiro summoned upon his power and brought his Zanpakuto down on the Ouin in one swing "HYOURINMARU!"

The blade hit the Ouin, slicing it in half. Power struck them. It burst from the Ouin like a blast of a sudden storm; twisting and writhing it rose up in to the air and swayed there in a tall tower on the point of breaking. They all watched some clutching their mouths in awe and the taste of fear; it was the silence before the storm.

Then, the power exploded.

Soul Reapers went flying. The strength of the blow ripped through them, knocking Soul Reapers like they were paper. Cries filled the air as jagged shafts of light pierced their bodies and ran through flesh. Blood spattered the ground; wind roared about them. Ichigo was thrown backwards with the rest; he hit the ground with a crack and Renji landed on top of him.

The taste of blood caught Ichigo in the mouth, but with the strength of power holding him down he could do nothing; he was safe under Renji but the sound of cries and screams was worse than anything. And, in the middle of it all, was Toshiro – untouched and unharmed. Ichigo reached out his hand trying to push Renji off him; Toshiro was standing so silently and unmoving, somehow Ichigo knew something was wrong.

Then the wind died. It vanished as if nothing had happened, as the world hadn't been torn in half by the Ouin. The first thing Renji was aware of was someone shoving at his back.

"Renji!" Ichigo thumped his friend again "RENJI!"

"I'm alright!" Renji gasped, he choked and fell off the substitute with a thud.

"You're bleeding!"

"…It's nothing!" the Lieutenant assured him shakily feeling for his injury "just a minor wound- where's Rukia?"

"I don't know!" Ichigo scrambled to his feet and steadied himself "find her, I gotta get to Toshiro"

"What?" Renji babbled staggering to his feet and whirling round to find the substitute was already running off "wait a minute!"

Ichigo dashed passed several moaning Soul Reapers regardless of who they were and if they were hurt; he didn't know the casualties or if any had been killed. From somewhere he could hear Mayuri screeching in delight; the power of the Ouin was great indeed, the ghoul was actually excited. Ichigo skidded passed all this and almost crashed in to the young Soul Reaper standing in the centre with his eyes closed.

He grabbed Toshiro by the shoulders and shook him "Toshiro! Dammit, Toshiro, wake up!"

In all the chaos there seemed to be a great peace surrounding the Captain, his face for once was serene; he stirred as Ichigo shook him like a toy, and with a mumble opened his eyes slowly. He regarded the substitute calmly and slowly, as if quick reactions were too much. Ichigo's blood ran cold. Then Toshiro blinked, just once.

"…Who are you?"

* * *

See? PLOT! I actually know where I'm heading with the story! YAY!

Thanks for reading! Please leave a review.

Kiki

Kizzes!


	9. Empty Eyes

**Review Replies  
**Emoemo: UPDATED! Thanks for the review!

Neko-chan31: Here is the update you have so patiently waited for, I do hope you enjoy it. Thanks for your review!

* * *

I know I know, I took forever to update. It happens. But I thank you all for waiting this long and I hope this chapter makes up for the long delay.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.

WARNINGS: None.

Enjoy!

* * *

**If Reality Could Drown**

**Chapter Nine: Empty Eyes**

"What do you think happened to him?" Renji wondered aloud.

"I think he lost his memories, Renji" Ichigo replied with as little sarcasm as he could manage.

"I get that, I just don't understand why the Ouin would take his memories"

"And he's Captain" Rukia pointed out "imagine what it would have done to a lower ranking officer, it doesn't bare thinking about"

They all looked down at the young Soul Reaper sleeping peacefully in the bed of Squad Four; it was like nothing was wrong, his face was so calm and unmarked it was as though nothing would wake him. At least he was getting the relaxation Rangiku had wanted. Ichigo's brow furrowed; he should have done more to stop Toshiro. There hadn't been one Soul Reaper in the whole of the Seireitei who had thought this a good idea; even Yamamoto had gone against his reservations.

And they'd all been right.

It had taken seventeen Soul Reapers, four Captains included, to bring Toshiro down. The young Captain of the Tenth Squad had woken up to find himself surrounded by strangers; he'd attacked anyone who'd come close, Ichigo himself had narrowly escaped the tirade Toshiro had unleashed upon them.

The substitute rubbed his arms and shivered "why's it so cold in here?"

"It's because Captain Hitsugaya isn't concealing his spiritual pressure" Rukia explained, "normally he has complete control"

"Lets just hope he remembers to conceal it again" Renji breathed out and watched his foggy breath rise up above him "otherwise we'll all freeze"

There was a noise behind them and Rangiku stepped in to the room "how is he?" she asked walking to the bed and taking a seat next to her sleeping Captain "has he moved at all?"

"Not even a little bit" Ichigo sighed, "he's just been sleeping"

Rangiku nodded slowly and lifted her hand to brush aside a few strands of white hair from Toshiro's face "it's odd" she murmured, "he looks so young and vulnerable just lying there"

"Hey, don't worry, Captain Hitsugaya is going to be just fine" Rukia assured her "Captain Unohana is convinced the memory loss is just a reaction to the shock, and that it will return"

"Yeah, he'll probably remember it all when he wakes up" Renji clapped Rangiku on the shoulder "he'll be back to the same grumpy bad tempered controlling irritating Captain we all know…and love" he added quickly, catching Rukia's expression.

"So what did Yamamoto say?" asked Ichigo "apart from completely crushing Toshiro's mind, did the Ouin actually do anything?"

Rangiku sighed and tore her gaze away from her Captain "actually yes, veins have broken the surface of the seal. The Ouin actually made a difference" she looked back to Toshiro "if the Royal weren't angry with Yamamoto for using the Ouin without their permission, the Head Captain would be willing to use it again"

There was a pause.

"Again?" repeated Ichigo "he wants to use it _again_?"

"Makes sense I guess" Renji reasoned "if the Ouin starting breaking the seal this time, it could break it more a second time"

"It would solve the problem quicker than waiting" Rukia agreed.

"Wait a minute!" Ichigo gaped "are you all _serious_!?" he flung his finger at Toshiro "have you completely forgotten what happened! Toshiro is a Captain and the Ouin nearly wiped him out! Does no one care about that!?"

"Of course we do" Rukia replied "but we have to think about the bigger picture, Ichigo, the longer the seal remains the longer-"

"Who gives a damn about that! None of you can seriously be thinking about using the Ouin again! It's insane! Who knows what damage could happen! And have you thought about who should use the Ouin, does anyone apart from Toshiro know how to use the Ouin?!"

He looked round at them angrily.

"_Well_?"

"The Royal family" Renji suggested "and Yamamoto might know something, and Captain Hit-"

"And Toshiro" Ichigo interrupted "yeah, I thought you might say that" he glared at them "you all know what this means, right?" he demanded, "it means the only one that can use the Ouin is Toshiro. They're not going to risk Yamamoto's memories, he's the Head Captain, and I seriously doubt anyone of the Royal family will use it"

"Look, Ichigo, I get what you're saying" Renji answered calmly "and you're wrong if you think we don't care about Captain Hitsugaya, he's one of the most popular Captains we have. But Rukia is right. This isn't about one Soul Reaper. It's about all the Soul Reapers, not to mention all the spirits that have been trapped in the World of the Living. We have to put them first, no matter what we personally feel"

"Yes" whispered Rangiku "that's what the Head Captain said, almost to the word" she looked at her Captain sadly "they want Captain Hitsugaya to get his memories back as soon as possible…so he can use the Ouin again"

Ichigo's jaw tightened; this was what he hated about the Soul Society. It was so wrapped up in its purposes it completely forgot that it was run by Soul Reapers who could hurt, and die. Somewhere along the lines it had forgotten to protect itself; that was why Aizen had found it so easy to betray them.

"I'm not gonna let that happen" he said darkly.

"What do you mean?" asked Rukia sharply, she'd been concerned Ichigo would rebel against something. He usually did.

"I'm not gonna let you use Toshiro like that. This time it only wiped his memories, but the next time could kill him. I won't let you push Toshiro in to this, not again. I should have stopped it from happening in the first place"

"Ichigo, this affects you too," Renji reminded him "the sooner the seal breaks the sooner you can go home"

"I'm not gonna sacrifice Toshiro! I protect my friends, I don't destroy them!"

"Ichigo, we are your friends, remember?" Rukia answered "and we all care about Captain Hitsugaya, even Yamamoto cares about him. Using the Ouin would only be a last resort. Who knows, maybe using the Ouin's power once was enough; the veins in the seal might break further. Only time will tell us that"

"Come on" Renji went to Rangiku "we've all been in here too long" he took the Tenth Lieutenant by the hand "there's nothing we can do until the Captain wakes up"

Rangiku hesitated but stood all the same; she let Renji guide her out of the room while Rukia prodded Ichigo until he turned away from the bed and grudgingly followed them.

* * *

The room fell quiet as the talking strangers left the room and their noise disappeared down the corridor outside.

His eyes snapped open.

"Where am I?" he whispered.

Maybe he only spoke so he could hear the sound of his own voice. A quiet thing: low in volume. He blinked. He'd been awake for some time but had felt safer pretending to sleep; those strangers had been talking, had they been talking about him? He didn't know. They'd sounded like they were talking about him. Was his name really Toshiro Hitsugaya? It didn't sound like it belonged to him, but it was hard to tell. And this Toshiro was a Captain.

A Captain of what?

He had no answers.

But he knew one thing.

This Toshiro Hitsugaya was needed for something, something dangerous; if he were really Toshiro Hitsugaya then that meant _he_ was in danger. It meant these strangers wanted _him_ for something.

He listened out hard for any noise; he knew what he had to do. He had no idea of his own name, but he knew it wasn't worth the risk finding out if he was Toshiro Hitsugaya no matter how desperate he was to know. He had to escape. Now, while he had the chance.

Sitting up sharply he looked around the room and was glad to find it empty; looking down he found himself wearing a white robe. His left arm was wrapped up in bandages; he must have hurt himself somehow, he'd have to investigate that later. Glancing about the room he located clothes; black kimonos with a white haori. Were they his clothes? It didn't matter.

Swinging his legs out he tested the ground for a moment and found no damage. Standing he reached for the garb and pulled it down; the white haori he would leave behind, it would attract too much attention. Slipping out the white robes he dressed as quickly as he could; he felt strange, a little light headed. Not knowing who he was unnerved him. It was cold in the room and his breath fogged up about him.

The clothes fitted him perfectly.

What did that mean? Turning round he found the exit and walked towards it; bare feet kept his footsteps to a minimum. Peering round the doorway he was pleased to find the corridor outside empty.

Stepping out he looked behind him to make sure no one would turn the corner. It suddenly occurred to him that he had no idea where he was; escaping this place would be harder than he'd first realised.

"Captain Hitsugaya"

He jumped and whirled back round.

A woman was standing behind him; funny, he hadn't heard her approach. He glared and took a step back.

"Please don't panic, Captain," she said, she smiled at him with kindness "it seems your memories have not yet returned to you. My name is Retsu Unohana. I am the Captain of Squad Four. Right now we are in the Squad Four Barracks"

That meant nothing to him. He didn't trust her one bit.

Her smile was too kind.

"I want to leave"

"I'm sorry, Captain Hitsugaya, but I can't let you do that. You are not well"

"Yes" he replied, "that's what I thought you'd say"

* * *

"Don't worry so much" Renji chided the substitute "at least you don't have to worry about Hitsugaya burying his feelings. He doesn't even know who Kusaka is"

"Yeah, great. That makes me feel so much better" said Ichigo dryly.

"Why are you taking this so hard?" Rukia asked, "what happened to Captain Hitsugaya isn't your fault"

"I should have stopped him, I should have stopped you all. Using the Ouin was the worst idea anyone could have had"

"But it weakened the seal, Ichigo" Renji prodded his friend "it did work"

"At what cost? I don't get why no one is worried about that? Has anybody considered that maybe the Ouin effected more than we know? What if Toshiro losing his memories is just the start?"

"Why do you think Squad Twelve is covering the scene like a blanket? They're making sure that's all that happened"

"Look, for now we can't worry about the Ouin" Rukia added "Captain Hitsugaya is our main concern, and not just because we want to use the Ouin again. Losing another Captain after all we've been through is too much"

"What's the best way to get his memories back?" asked the substitute "there's gotta be a way"

"Captain Kurotsuchi and Captain Unohana have been consulting each other on the matter" Renji replied "I overheard them in Squad Four, they're talking about running some tests while he's asleep"

"I hope they find something"

Rangiku was walking behind the three of them; until now she'd been silent. They all knew she was loyal to her Captain and very fond of him, but these events were something she was taking harder than they'd expected. Maybe she felt as if a part of Captain had died.

Maybe that part of him would never return.

It was an unbearable thought.

"Hey" Renji went to her and hooked his arm round her shoulder "what's with all this gloom and doom? I would have thought you'd be over the moon, with Hitsugaya's memories gone you don't have to do any paperwork. Bonus!"

Renji was trying to cheer Rangiku up, Ichigo knew that, and it was a good thing to do. But Ichigo couldn't shake the feeling that things were terrible, worse than anyone had predicted. The seal had been damaged; it was the best news anyone could have asked for.

But was it all going to be that simple?

Would Toshiro's memories return over time?

Would the seal continue to break without using the power of the Ouin?

That sounded too easy.

It was too good to be true.

And then the alarm rang through the air.

'_ATTENTION: ALL LIEUTENANTS ARE TO REPORT TO THE EAST GATE TO DETAIN CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA. I REPEAT: ALL LIEUTENANTS ARE TO REPORT TO THE EAST GATE TO DETAIN CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA_'

"Dammit" Renji muttered "looks like sleeping beauty woke up" he looked to Rukia "you'd better come too, I know you're not a Lieutenant but you'll be more help than those two idiots acting as Squad Thirteen's Lieutenants"

"Right" Rukia nodded "Ichigo, you stay here"

"What! But I could help, if you're going to talk to him then I can-"

"The announcer didn't say we were to talk to him, it said we were to detain him"

"What's that-you mean you're just going to arrest him? Lock him away like he's a criminal!"

"There's no time to argue with you, just stay here"

And with that Renji and Rukia vanished, jumping over the rooftops and flying through the air. Ichigo scowled and readied himself to follow; he didn't care what anyone thought. If their plan was to imprison Toshiro then he had to get there first; he could talk to the Captain before anyone found him. If he could just gain Toshiro's trust then maybe the young Soul Reaper wouldn't be treated like such a prisoner. It had to be worth a shot.

Then he realised that Rangiku hadn't moved.

"Rangiku? Aren't you going with them? He is your Captain after all"

But Rangiku didn't hear him, she was thinking instead.

"Rangiku?"

"The Captain is smart" she said, almost to herself "it doesn't matter if he can't remember anything, he's still clever"

"Your point?" Ichigo asked and then realised what she was talking about "wait, you think it's some kinda ruse. He's not at the east gate?"

"No, I think somehow he managed to trick them"

"Alright, you know him best. Where would he go? West instead of east maybe?"

"No, that's too obvious. The moment they all realise he's not at the east gate they'll automatically head west" Rangiku thought for a moment "no, he'd go north, he'd wait until they went west and then he'd circle round to the east. I'm sure that's what he'd do"

"Are you sure? It sounds like something Toshiro would do, but he's not Toshiro at the moment. He's a total stranger, maybe he thinks differently"

"It's possible, but I'm sure that's what he'd think. His memory loss doesn't mean he's turned stupid" Rangiku clenched her hands tightly "either way I have to try, I have to find him"

"No, let me go" Ichigo caught her before she left "if you start heading north the others will figure out what you're doing. They don't care where I am"

"Ichigo, the main thing is that we can't let him get away, we just want him to be safe. No one is going to hurt him"

"No, they want to lock him up so he doesn't escape again. You keep treating him like a prisoner and he'll only try harder to escape, someone's gotta talk to him and make him stay of his own accord"

Rangiku hesitated for a moment.

"Give me a chance, Rangiku, I have to find him before everyone else does"

She sighed "alright. But whatever you do, Ichigo, don't let him leave the Seireitei, or we could lose him forever"

* * *

He peered round the corner and waited patiently; there didn't seem to be anyone waiting for him but he couldn't be sure. These strange people could appear and vanish at a moment's notice. They were so fast; it left him at a serious disadvantage. It had taken a lot of effort and skill to convince his hunters that he had gone one way and not another.

At least now it was only a matter of waiting and patience.

Concealment was his greatest ally; slowly he checked round the corner a second time and when it was empty he shot from out of his alley to the shadow of a building. The roof above him jutted out wide; he was hidden from anyone looking above. Not that he let his guard down; it had been a nasty shock to discover these people could almost fly through the air.

"About time I found you, I was beginning to worry"

He jumped and looked around; there was no one. Did this world have invisible folk in it also? That was all he needed.

"Heads up"

A shadow grew long on the ground in front of him and someone leapt down from the roof; inwardly he cursed, they must have been hiding on the other side of the roof out of sight. Waiting for him. He glared expecting to see a dark enemy with weapons ready to kill him.

Instead there was only a guy standing before him.

"The colour of your hair is absurd"

The stranger's mouth fell open.

"_Gah, _f-for _real_! After everything that's happened that's the first thing that comes in to your head!"

"I figured that I should at least get one insult in before you killed me"

"Come on, you know I'm not gonna kill you"

"How should I know that, I don't even know how you found me"

"Well, honestly I almost didn't. I didn't think you'd be this close to Squad Four Barracks" the orange headed stranger replied. He gave a shrug "then I realised, you've lost all your memories" he continued, "you've forgotten how to use flash step"

"I don't know what this flash step is, but if you're going to kill me then you might as well get on with it"

"I'm not gonna kill you, Toshiro"

"My name is not Toshiro!"

"Is that so? You don't have any memories. How would you know your name isn't Toshiro?"

"It can't be. I would remember!"

"Clearly not" the stranger twitched his eyebrows "well, for the record, I'm Ichigo, Ichigo Kurosaki"

"Surprising, I would have called you Carrot"

"Again with the hair jokes, like I've never heard them before"

"You're the one with the stupid hair"

"Hey, look in the mirror, why don't ya! I'm not the one with a head full of snow!" Ichigo scowled, then sighed with aggravation. Even with no memories Toshiro Hitsugaya was a snotty brat.

He shook his head.

"Alright, Captain Snot, listen up. I need you to trust me"

"And why would I do that? I don't know you, I've no reason to trust you"

"You're just gonna have to take a leap of faith on this, otherwise you're going to be locked away in a box while they run tests on you. Is that what you really want?"

"Who are they? Who are you? What tests! Why should I believe anything you say?!"

There were too many questions left unanswered.

He didn't have the luxury to trust anyone.

"Because if you don't you're gonna find yourself a prisoner, I don't want that for you, Toshiro"

"Stop calling me Toshiro!"

"No, it's your name. Toshiro Hitsugaya, Captain of Squad Ten. Your Lieutenant is Rangiku Matsumoto, she's very worried about you by the way"

"I don't know who that is"

"I know, but if you did remember who she was then you'd come with me without a second thought"

"Really, then it's too bad I don't remember her"

Finally he saw his chance.

This stranger named Ichigo looked away for the merest of seconds, obviously trying to think of something to say to make him stay. Seizing the moment he dashed to his left and ran. He was half way down the passage before Ichigo Kurosaki realised-

An arm caught round his waist and brought him crashing to the ground, knocking the air out of him. He grunted and struggled to regain his senses.

"Flash step, remember. I'm faster than you"

Ichigo looked down at him and then softened; he held out his hand as Toshiro pushed himself up. The young Soul Reaper smacked his hand away sharply and stood up of his own accord.

"I get it" he said coldly "I can't escape, is that the point you're making? No matter how far I run you will catch me"

"Yes, but I'm not your enemy, Toshiro" Ichigo implored him "you gotta believe me"

"Then let me go"

"What?" Ichigo was taken aback.

"If you want me to trust you then let me go" Toshiro said coldly.

If he couldn't run, then he'd simply have to make this enemy let him go.

"I can't do that"

Toshiro's eyes narrowed; Ichigo had never seen so much distrust before, if he was honest with himself it bothered him more than he'd expected. There was nothing in those huge blue eyes except doubt and suspicion. And the worst part was he couldn't think of one good reason to make Toshiro stay. He had no idea how to gain the Captain's trust.

There was an impasse between them, made louder by the silence that rang through the air; Toshiro was glaring at him like an enemy. Rangiku had been right; losing all of him memories hadn't made Toshiro stupid, it had simply turned him in to a very powerful foe.

Except…Toshiro had forgotten all about the power he had.

He'd forgotten about everything.

Even his attack on all the Soul Reapers and his escape from Squad Four; sure, Toshiro had escaped using his power but it seemed he was either unaware that it was him using the power or he didn't know how to control it.

The air was cold around them because Toshiro didn't know how to control his spiritual pressure; the only reason why Renji and the others hadn't picked up on it was because they hadn't realised Toshiro didn't know how to flash step, they'd assumed the chilliness was simply trace that had been left behind.

That gave Ichigo an advantage, but whether he should use it or not was another matter; sure, now he knew he could track Toshiro down, but that wouldn't gain the young Soul Reaper's trust. Obtaining Toshiro's trust was more important than proving he could track the Soul Reaper down and lock him up.

"Alright" the substitute decided, "you can go"

Toshiro eyes sharpened; he hadn't expected Ichigo to agree and now the substitute had the young Captain didn't believe a word of it "what's the catch?"

"You have to make a deal with me"

There, a catch. Just like he'd expected.

"What kind of deal?"

"I'm going to let you go, but I want you to meet me later"

"No way in hell" was that all? No, there had to be something else to it "what happens if I don't show up?"

"Then I'll track you down until I find you, and when I find you I'll hand you over. You'll become a prisoner and they'll lock you away until they've run all the tests they want. You'll be at their mercy and believe me, they can be cruel"

"I see, but what if I do meet with you?"

"Then I'll protect you. I'll prove to you that you can trust me" Ichigo answered "and I'll help you remember who you are. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Toshiro didn't answer; he watched Ichigo for a moment, wondering about the intensity in his face. In his head he wasn't able to quell the curiosity; he couldn't deny his interest in his forgotten memories? But was this real? He couldn't tell. And what was with the sudden change of heart? A moment ago this unknown stranger had been dead set against his escape, and now he was letting it happen.

There was something wrong.

He didn't know what, but something had changed.

This Ichigo Kurosaki had thought of some trick to fool him.

"No, this is a trap. Something is wrong, I don't trust you"

"You have to, it's your only option" Ichigo replied, it wasn't looking good but he rallied anyway "look, there's a huge open area not far from here, it's called the training grounds. You can't miss it. I want you to meet me there at dawn tomorrow"

"I won't be there, if you're stupid enough to let me go now then that's your own fault"

"You have to be there"

"Why?"

"Because you have to put your trust in me" Ichigo's brow furrowed; something in the air felt different. He wasn't the best at spiritual pressure, but he could have sworn there was a great surge of it moving. It had to be Renji and the others. He was running out of time "I can show you who you used to be, but in order for me to tell you everything about your life I need you to have faith in me"

"I don't see why I should listen to anything you say"

"Because I know you, Toshiro, you hate not knowing something. And right now having no clue who you are is driving you crazy, isn't it? You want to know if your name really is Toshiro, you want to know if I'm telling the truth"

Toshiro said nothing.

"Please, I'm asking you to put your trust in me. If you do, I swear I won't let you down, I'll never lie to you or hide anything from you, just _trust_ me"

He'd said all he could say. Now all he could do was let Toshiro go and hope he would return. Rangiku was going to kill him. The cool air around him shifted a little, whether it was changing with Toshiro's moods Ichigo wasn't sure; maybe it meant Toshiro was unsure about disbelieving everything he heard. Maybe he was desperate enough to find out who he was to meet Ichigo the next morning.

The substitute could only hope.

* * *

And there we go. Now, I know this side of the plot has rather pushed back the whole Yaoi part of the story, but just give it a little time. Now that Toshiro has no memories he won't know what's against the rules or not. Catch my drift?

Anyway, thanks for reading!

Please leave a review.

Kiki

Kizzes!


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